Please Critique
Hello Drumchat, I have recently written out a batch of original lyrics and would appreciate any feedback. I will write it out in its original poem form instead of song form
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THE TREK - BY ZAC PULAK
As the mist clears
As do the shadows
Ghostly Forms
Appear
From the heavens above
The oaths were taken
Holiness forsaken,
A new age began
The remnants of a society
Their nomenclature remains,
Hinting at our faults
Actions, they were detained
For Ages, The Trek
For Ages, The Trek
At the breast of the lake
They threw down the stake
An age of so called enlightenment
An ironic shadow is cast
Is knowledge such a sin?
Passed down through our kin
A bite stolen
For Ages, The Trek
For Ages, The Trek
The age of industry
The cogs of war began turning
Our civilization
Begins it's burning
For Ages, The Trek
For Ages, The Trek
We reflect,
A Doppler shift
Our visions skewed
Our purpose null and void
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Thank You.
DRUM NAKED!
I Tried To Think Of Something Insightful, But This Is All That Came To Mind...
-PerpetualFrog
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