A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says "Doc, Doc, please help me. I'm convinced that I'm a dog!" The shrink replies, "Well, why don't you just get on the couch and we'll talk about it then."
"Can't", says the guy "I'm not allowed on the couch."
There once was this little pink lady. She had a little pink house, wore a little pink dress, and owned a little pink dog. This lady sold Avon.
Now one day, she was walking down a street selling her Avon when she came across a little red house. She pressed the doorbell. In the little red house lived a little red man. He was having a bath in his little red bathtub when he heard his little red doorbell ring.
"There goes my little red doorbell!" he said to himself as he leapt out of his little red bathtub. He grabbed his little red bath towel and put it around his waist and hurried down his little red stairs to his little red door.
But....when he opened his little red door, his little red towel slipped and fell off. The little pink lady put her hand to her little pink mouth, screamed, and ran out across the street. A little blue car was hurtling down the road, the little blue man behind the wheel tried his best, slamming his little blue foot on his little blue brake, but too late, he hit the little pink lady and she died.
The moral of the story? Never cross the street when the little red man is flashing.