This is hard to explain besides just saying practice, we have all been through this awkward stage.
Just do a simple 4 count beat not on the set, just use your fingers and tapping your foot. Play the kick on the first count and the snare on the last (remember, were just simulating this with your fingers/hand and foot tapping for now) so it goes 1(kick)...2...3...4(snare)...1(kick)...2...3...4(s nare)...1(kick)...2...3...4(snare)...etc etc
get a metronome and practice at 120bpm until you can keep that beat for a minute, then try it on the real set, by then you should be able to transition form tapping to actual playing without a hitch.
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