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Thread: guys gotta chill!

  1. #1

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    Default guys gotta chill!

    Guys need to chill and stop being so sensitive. If you're not able to accept challenges or rebuttals to things you say on a public forum then perhaps you shouldn't be on a public forum.
    This is the internet and it is totally public. It is the same as you stepping up to the podium in a real town hall meeting or whatever.

    Now if you step to the podium and make claims or statements that are...

    1) wrong

    2) irrational

    3) just plain dumb!

    Then I as a participant in the same public forum, shouldn't I be fully entitled to challenge the statements or ask how the conclusions were drawn that led to the statements. This doesn't mean that I'm attacking the speaker or belittling them. Just asking for clarification or explanation on things claimed or stated.

    I want to know what all guys think about this. Am I wrong or right?

    all the best...

  2. #2

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    Agreed!!!!

  3. #3

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    Being that it sounds right means that you are probably wrong.

  4. #4

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    I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken.
    "The problem with information on the Internet is that you can not validate it's authenticity. " -Abraham Lincoln

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  5. #5

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    so this is different....how?

  6. #6

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    Agree 100%
    Matt

  7. #7

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    How dare you?!?! If I wanted your opinion on something, I would have asked you! I have something called FREE SPEECH which means I'm always right!!

    lol nah, I totally agree.
    - Zack

  8. #8

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    Default Re: guys gotta chill!

    It's not always as easy as it may seem. People are complex and each of us come with our own idiosyncrasies. What is stern to some is mild to others. What is mild can be mistaken for weakness and so on and so on. We tend to think of human relations as a 'one size fits all' proposition but it's anything but. And without being face to face, we don't even have as many of the subtleties to help us determine intent.

    What is the answer? I believe it's primarily two-fold:

    1. We must post with the utmost diplomacy. It is absolutely essential.

    2. We must continually work on ourselves so that we're well balanced with our approach to others. If we're too forceful, we come across hostile and if we're too timid, we're at risk of abuse.

    To sum it up, those that tend to be more direct (I fall into that category) must continually make an effort to be a bit more careful with how we say things and those that complain about people picking on them must (as I always say) 'choose not to be offended'.

    I'll add one more thing: Seek to find the good in people. Sometimes we become hyper-focused on what we don't like about them and forget to appreciate all of their strong points.

    I hope the above is not seen as a rebuke of the OP but just an attempt to find a place in the middle to bring everybody together.

    Peace.

  9. #9

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    Default Re: guys gotta chill!

    Quote Originally Posted by kay-gee View Post
    Guys need to chill and stop being so sensitive. If you're not able to accept challenges or rebuttals to things you say on a public forum then perhaps you shouldn't be on a public forum.
    This is the internet and it is totally public. It is the same as you stepping up to the podium in a real town hall meeting or whatever.

    Now if you step to the podium and make claims or statements that are...

    1) wrong

    2) irrational

    3) just plain dumb!

    Then I as a participant in the same public forum, shouldn't I be fully entitled to challenge the statements or ask how the conclusions were drawn that led to the statements. This doesn't mean that I'm attacking the speaker or belittling them. Just asking for clarification or explanation on things claimed or stated.

    I want to know what all guys think about this. Am I wrong or right?

    all the best...
    I've been saying this for quite a while now.

  10. #10

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    People know me as a humorist, but I realize that sometimes humor can be interpreted as sarcasm. I know that I need to work on that personally. I don't want anyone on this forum to think that I'm attacking them or that I don't like them or whatever. We are all different and I can dig that. Sometimes things need to challenged when said. I find this so true in physics (sound) or things stated as fact that are actually opinion. We should as anomynous enteties here, qualify what we say with IMO or I believe ...If I offend someone then please bring it to my attention because that's not my intention, but I love nothing more in life than good sound and reasoned discussion.

    all the best...

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by kay-gee View Post
    People know me as a humorist, but I realize that sometimes humor can be interpreted as sarcasm. I know that I need to work on that personally. I don't want anyone on this forum to think that I'm attacking them or that I don't like them or whatever. We are all different and I can dig that. Sometimes things need to challenged when said. I find this so true in physics (sound) or things stated as fact that are actually opinion. We should as anomynous enteties here, qualify what we say with IMO or I believe ...If I offend someone then please bring it to my attention because that's not my intention, but I love nothing more in life than good sound and reasoned discussion.

    all the best...
    You took the words out of my mouth kay. I feel the same as you do. People do not know how to take me and some just the see the wrong in me and they cannot tell when I am joking or being serious and this sometimes makes confrontations.

  12. #12

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    One question kay what made you bring that out. Was there another big dispute going on that I missed.

  13. #13

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    I haven't noticed much, but i'm not around as often as I used to be. Speech isn't free, the price you pay is that once you make something public, you open the gates for anyone to respond to your post in anyway that they see fit. Some handle things objectively, others emotionally. You have to make peace with the fact that you might not hear what you like to, but it doesn't mean you can't learn from and use it. Most are trying to help, not hurt. People just got their own ways of doing that, is all.
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  14. #14

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    Default Re: guys gotta chill!

    There is a quote from some long since dead guy, but I like it and it relates directly to this post.
    "Want to avoid criticism, then say nothing, do nothing and be nothing"

    We all can be opinionated, some more than others. I would rather hear an honest but crusty opinion than a less than truthful fanboy compliment. On my builders forum I have had this discussion, as I have been critical of some guys builds. It is rare, and I mostly give praise, but I am always truthful to myself and speak what I feel. Some guys take it for what it is and some guys get insulted. But when I get any negative comments about my work, I fully appreciate them knowing that what one guy loves another might not and it helps me to be objective too.
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  15. #15

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    "The critics are our friends, they show us our faults." - Benjamin Franklin
    ZildjianLeague/LP/Aquarian/Mapex/Pearl
    Snares: 4
    RIP- Frank, Wolvie, Les Paul
    Quote Originally Posted by Pearl MCX Man View Post
    I wish I was your wife
    Quote Originally Posted by amdrummer View Post
    if double bass is cheating then so is using two sticks

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  16. #16

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    Default Re: guys gotta chill!

    Quote Originally Posted by kay-gee View Post
    People know me as a humorist, but I realize that sometimes humor can be interpreted as sarcasm. I know that I need to work on that personally. I don't want anyone on this forum to think that I'm attacking them or that I don't like them or whatever. We are all different and I can dig that. Sometimes things need to challenged when said. I find this so true in physics (sound) or things stated as fact that are actually opinion. We should as anomynous enteties here, qualify what we say with IMO or I believe ...If I offend someone then please bring it to my attention because that's not my intention, but I love nothing more in life than good sound and reasoned discussion.

    all the best...
    IMO, I first thought you had some of that Bahama sand in your shorts.

    I believe that yes, you/we do have every right to question or ask someone about their post or comment that has been made in a respectful way. Im pretty sure that's been done here in the past and I see nothing wrong with doing that.
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  17. #17

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    Default Re: guys gotta chill!

    Sometimes comments on a forum can totally be taken out of context, I've seen it on her loads of times, I agree with Drummer you have to be careful how you word things.
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  18. #18

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    Default Re: guys gotta chill!

    Quote Originally Posted by Russ View Post
    I haven't noticed much, but i'm not around as often as I used to be. Speech isn't free, the price you pay is that once you make something public, you open the gates for anyone to respond to your post in anyway that they see fit. Some handle tihings objectively, others emotionally. You have to make peace with the fact that you might not hear what you like to, but it doesn't mean you can't learn from and use it. Most are trying to help, not hurt. People just got their own ways of doing that, is all.
    Well said.

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pearl MCX Man View Post
    One question kay what made you bring that out. Was there another big dispute going on that I missed.
    Not in particular. Just the stuff I've seen lately and even some members leaving.

    all the best...

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  21. #21

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    Default Re: guys gotta chill!

    There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with something, or even questioning it. Just remember that it doesn't have to be an "in your face" reply.

    Questioning, or disagreeing is easy. Doing it respectfully it a little harder, but worth the effort, if you want the conversation to continue.
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  22. #22

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    Pretty sure the topic that the OP is addressing is people's reactions to comments as they relate to having thin skin as opposed to the actual comments themselves. Many times there are comments made here to an OP that are rather benign and the OP gets butthurt then their little friends pile on and all H*ll breaks loose over something that really didn't merit all the commotion. OP is right, if you're a girlie and can't withstand a reaction to whatever opinion you're throwing out there...........then don't. IMHO.

  23. #23

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    Well said and the truth inthpkplayer about friends piling up.
    Last edited by Pearl MCX Man; 03-29-2015 at 08:08 AM.

  24. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    Pretty sure the topic that the OP is addressing is people's reactions to comments as they relate to having thin skin as opposed to the actual comments themselves. Many times there are comments made here to an OP that are rather benign and the OP gets butthurt then their little friends pile on and all H*ll breaks loose over something that really didn't merit all the commotion. OP is right, if you're a girlie and can't withstand a reaction to whatever opinion you're throwing out there...........then don't. IMHO.
    Girlie? I'm not sure that's the most diplomatic way to make your point. Let's remember that there are all types of people in the world and while some might need thicker skin, those with very thick skin also need to tame down a bit and learn how to be more diplomatic and kind-hearted. It's about compromise.

  25. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by pastor_bob View Post
    There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with something, or even questioning it. Just remember that it doesn't have to be an "in your face" reply.

    Questioning, or disagreeing is easy. Doing it respectfully it a little harder, but worth the effort, if you want the conversation to continue.
    Wise words from PB worth repeating.

    I'll end this thread now too. We need less drama and more compromise and diplomacy. - Thank you!

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