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Thread: Contemplating my Swan Song

  1. #1

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    Default Contemplating my Swan Song

    Maybe I'm starting to sound like a broken record but perhaps the time has finally come.

    I've only ever wanted to just be in a band, go play a few weekends a month and make some extra money to buy new gear that catches my attention.

    Been that way for most of 40+ years.

    But these last 5 have pretty much opened my eyes to a new reality. Trying to put a new show together today is more difficult than ever. I have been aggressively attempting to round up 4 - 5 musicians and have failed miserably with at least a half dozen start up attempts. I can get 80% there but can't complete the process.

    This last go round pretty much has given me a hard reset. Had a good show put together, we were just starting to get booked and make a name for ourselves and someone has to go and destroy it....within hours of the best show the band had put on, to date. WHY??????????????????

    From that fiasco we were able to resurrect most of what we had. We lost our guitarist/vocalist/sound guy and PA owner and (his wife) our wanna be keyboardist/female vocalist. (We didn't really lose that much losing her.) We did find a guitarist that at first was what we had thought we wanted. However, as it is turning out, he's not very well polished, doesn't seem to blend well with the band and kind of plays in his own little world. We have called upon a well seasoned guitarist that is filling in so we can have two guitars. The fill-in is outstanding and putting our full time guitarist to shame and he's really not that bad...

    The rest of the band is all happy and content with how things sound but trust me, the permanent guitarist doesn't know the leads yet is hacking through them and everyone thinks that's ok. I don't. Quite frankly, personality wise, I don't think I really like these guys all that much. We sat around the "dinner table" after rehearsal last night, working on our set list. (We play next weekend and I don't think we are ready.) I'm just sitting back watching everyone and listening to them talk and discuss stuff and I'm just quietly evaluating everything.

    Then, when things went into the political arena, (which I'm more than ready to debate "the other side") but as usual all that talk just went into nonsense and BS and at that point, I left.

    I'm open to any conversation anyone has and their valued opinions on the matter. Even if you think I'm not being fair or whatever, please state your honest opinion. I really don't know what to do.

    I'm to a point now where I'd love to sell all my gear, take some time and then if I'm still in the mood, start from scratch and go totally modest and humble on new gear. With that said, I could be easily coaxed into selling some shell packs for some decent money, if anyone is looking for anything.

    I look forward to hearing what anyone has to say. Good or bad.

    Thanks, my friends.
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  2. #2

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    Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time trying to keep a band together. Maybe it is time to just give up on it man cause it is stressful on you. This is one reason why I stopped playing in bands along time ago too much BS for me. Just keep one kit around and turn it into a hobby like I did just something to bang on once in awhile. Good luck to whatever you decide and makes you happy.

  3. #3

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    Nooooooooooooooooooooo

  4. #4

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    Don't do it. Take some time off if need be, but don't sell your gear. Be ready to go when the phone rings. Hit up some local jams and keep up with what people are playing, and keep your stamina and grooves up. You're a good enough drummer that you WILL get something again.
    Six Piece Mapex Saturn V, Five Piece DW Performance Series, NOS Slingerland Snares, Centent Ardor and Emperor Cymbals


  5. #5

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    Can I have the blue Tama kit?


    Well someone had to ask. On second thought, wait 6 months before you sell. If you feel the same then, you can sell it all right before Christmas. Just to be sure you really want out and its not a knee-jerk emotional thing. Then again, if you get out now and decide you want to start up again, you get to buy new stuff. Hmmmm

  6. #6

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    I'm with DrumWhipper. Take a break maybe but don't give it up. You're very passionate about the drums. That passion brings great joy and that's worth something. But ultimately follow your heart. I wish you the best and sorry to hear about all the band troubles.

  7. #7

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    Sorry to hear but you are not alone with alot of these problems. 2 bands I have been in had a hard and fast rule of no politics and in both cases it worked. IMO there is no common sense debate when it comes to that, everyone has chosen a side and is set in their position no matter what they say and no amount of facts or debate will change their or your opinion so why bother?

    Also just play your kit and have some fun for awhile, Dive head first into a genre you never played before whether it be Jazz, samba, reggae, speed metal etc..there is much more to drumming than being in a band. Check out some open mic's, join a scottish pipe band and learn some good snare rudiments etc etc. I think you already know you will never give it up completely so don't let the actions of others lean you in that direction. I have seen a video or 3 of you playing and even though you have good chops and timing is spot on the look on your face when your playing is really the reason why we all do it is it not? Don't forget that! Best of luck bud, hope to see you around in the future.
    Ludwig Classic Maple 22x16,10x8,12x9,16x16
    7" Moon Gel Practice Pad
    Sabian HHX Legacy

    Decide whether this is love for the craft or simply an ego thing

    http://www.redskymary.com/ NOT MY BAND, JUST A GREAT LOCAL BAND WHO SHOULD BE SOOO MUCH BIGGER IMO

  8. #8

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    Sorry to hear about your bad luck. Bands would be easy if it weren't for guitar players and lead vocalists! With all the "band drama" stories lately, I'm starting to think having a successful band is more about compatible personalities and pure luck than musicianship, LOL.

    I agree that you shouldn't quit. Just take a break if necessary. If you need to downsize and "simplify", then keep one good kit & sell the rest. Heck, find ONE good guitar player that sings, buy a Cajon and start a Duo just to keep you busy.
    Last edited by N2Bluz; 06-08-2017 at 08:41 PM.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  9. #9

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    I'm with DrumWhipper and drummer on this, don't give up ... it's in your blood man, you've got to stay the course. I know that bands can be a drag at times with all the drama and ego and all but drumming, for good or bad, is what we were born to do and we won't be happy not being able to do it.

    Have you thought about jamming with established bands for a while instead of trying to start something from scratch on your own? Approaching the performance thing with a hired gun mindset might help you relax for a change so that you can just focus on having fun playing your best instead of worrying about the others in the band ...

    Hope this helps ...

    Bet of luck to you brother ...

  10. #10

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    I agree with the others. Maybe take a break, try some new styles. Avoid talking politics at all costs unless you're all simpatico. Don't sell your drums. Keep on keepin on bro.
    Enjoy the little things in life because one day you`ll look back and realize they were the big things.

    -Karrie

  11. #11

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    Bish. If memory serves, you also play the guitar, correct? I think you still have options open.

    all the best...

  12. #12

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    I'd say take some time off, forget about playing in a band for a while , just enjoy playing your kit at home. Over time you will either miss the band aspect of playing and try to get something going, or you won't miss it and you will just play for your own enjoyment.

    I played in cover bands for 14 years. All had decent levels of success , I made a good living, but at age 31 I walked away due to just being sick of playing cover tunes. No one had any interest in trying to go all original so I took a step back. What I thought would be just some time off turned into my retirement from playing out. I just never got the feeling back that i wanted to go back out again. In 2004 I did a Rush tribute show and in 2005 I did a benefit show for some people that lost their home to a fire, both cases were a couple months rehearsal then one show which was enjoyable, but I was glad I wasn't doing it every week. In 2011 I did a show to celebrate the life of a musician friend that passed away. He was our lead singer and a bit of a local legend so the remaining members of the band got back together to do a show. We only rehearsed a couple times and it was sloppy but then I knew I'd never play out again. I've continued to play my drums at my home and occasionally jam with friends, I'll do that until my body will no longer allow it and I'm ok with that.

  13. #13

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    NPYYZ that is exactly what I was trying to say my story is close to yours. In my younger years I played in a lot of different bands but nothing serious cause we could never get a full band to communicate or get along together. The worst were the singers or guitar players never seem to please them enough. So I gave up and retired from drums 40 years ago and never regretted it. Now I just play my drums as a hobby or jam a little when I meet with local musicians who are doing it like I am.
    Last edited by Pearl MCX Man; 06-09-2017 at 07:24 AM.

  14. #14

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    Playing in a band has a reward that comes at a price.
    The reward arrives after much work is invested in preparation and then you get the feeling of playing a set list and a gig that goes very well -- the band clicks and all band mates are happy with their required interdependence.
    The price is how you deal with the negatives of each band mate, whether that be work-ethic, behavior, or talent -- because all band mates are interdependent.

    Just like any other market, when the price becomes greater than the reward, you don't feel good about the transaction.
    As long as the reward is greater than the price, the band is happy.

    The recent reconstruction of my band is causing prices to increase..................I'm hoping the reward will be there.
    Gretsch USA & Zildjian
    (What Else Would I Ever Need ?)


  15. #15

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    Put up a list of all the stuff you want to sell. From what I remember, a lot of it might be worth driving half way across the country to pick up.

  16. #16

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    Thanks for all the replies.

    I have played in bands since the late 60's without ever taking a very long hiatus. (2-3 months at most.) This last "downtime" has lasted since 2012 until now.

    I'm far from burnt out on playing as much as I am sifting through the local musician pool.

    Starting with new gear isn't a bad thing at all but I wouldn't do it unless all my previous gear got sold.

    If I pursue the inventory reduction, I'm thinking since all my kits are in perfect condition and all are less than 2 years old (and have all new heads on all of them) I'd be looking at approximately 60 cents on the dollar. That would make a kit costing $1000.00 new worth $600.00 from me. I'd also drive up to 3 hours (up to half way) to safely deliver goods.

    I'm not looking to ship for several reasons. I'm not really looking to sell anything but I would if the opportunity arose.
    Signature here

  17. #17

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    I've had my new PDP Concept Maples listed on CL for almost a month. They still have the plastic wrap on the badges, with all new Evans heads. They're PERFECT, and I've only had 2 inquiries. I listed them for $500, but appearantly that's too much for a 1 year old, $750 kit with all new aftermarket heads that's only been played 4 times, LOL. I wanted to buy a new Ludwig Classic kit, but at this point, I'm stuck with the PDP's. It's a tough market right now.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  18. #18

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    I am now 59 years old. I am currently in a band with three other musicians in the same age range. For the most part, we agree on our song list. We prefer an obscure mix of country, folk, and rock covers. We've been together only four months, and so far it's been smooth sailing. There are no leaders per say, but I add direction to our rehearsals, and so far have booked our two gigs at the high-profile Stanhope House, in Stanhope New Jersey.

    I find it hard to believe that the group is still together. Something this good just cannot last. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. A friend tells me, if you are waiting for the other shoe to drop, go barefoot.

    I mention this as a form of encouragement. Yes, you can be in a band, and have a good time! Don't sell the gear! As suggested, take a little break, and get back into it with a new perspective!

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by jmastrodimos View Post
    I am now 59 years old. I am currently in a band with three other musicians in the same age range. For the most part, we agree on our song list. We prefer an obscure mix of country, folk, and rock covers. We've been together only four months, and so far it's been smooth sailing. There are no leaders per say, but I add direction to our rehearsals, and so far have booked our two gigs at the high-profile Stanhope House, in Stanhope New Jersey.

    I find it hard to believe that the group is still together. Something this good just cannot last. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. A friend tells me, if you are waiting for the other shoe to drop, go barefoot.

    I mention this as a form of encouragement. Yes, you can be in a band, and have a good time! Don't sell the gear! As suggested, take a little break, and get back into it with a new perspective!
    /\This 100%. Key to it is being very discerning at the beginning when choosing who to get involved with.

  20. #20

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    Bumping this up 'cause I've been away. I agree with many who've posted. Don't give up Bish! I've found it frustrating to be in a working weekend band so I bailed out of the last one I was in and I've re-focused my efforts towards home recording projects which has been a true test of my creativity since all of the music is original. I know it's easier said than done but if you set your sights on folks with the same goal, you might find yourself sharing goals together thus creating a common bond. I'm a hobbyist and I enjoy it very much.

  21. #21

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    Bish, No sense giving it up, you still get to play with other musicians, and just enjoy that part, with that in mind if it happens it happens

  22. #22

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    So, have you "hung them up"?

  23. #23

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    32 years. 2 personnel changes. Added 1 singer. Can be done.

  24. #24

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    I have quit the struggling band that can't seem to get "IT" together.

    I have put out the word about the gear for sale and it's been working.

    So far I've sold off two kits, several microphones, cables and mic stands.
    Signature here

  25. #25

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    OK -- great.
    You have made some necessary changes and traded excess gear for cash.
    Just don't quit.
    Go get a new top-shelf pair of headphones and find a way to learn some of those songs that have always been just a little beyond your reach.
    Work on them for weeks when ever you have the time.........................very productive and therapeutic.
    Trust me on this -- I've been there.
    Gretsch USA & Zildjian
    (What Else Would I Ever Need ?)


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