Use smaller diameter and thin cymbals. Control how, when and which ones you hit. That's really all it amounts to.
I play these types of gigs frequently. Most times in very small places. I use a 10"splash, 12"splash, 14" thin crash & 16" thin crash. splash cymbals work great as a crash for acoustic gigs. The small, thin cymbals allow you to hit them hard enough so they "open up" and get a crash sound without being loud. Nothing sounds worse than a heavy "Rock" ride that's hit softly. Also, pay attention to where you play on the ride. You can control the wash and keep it from overpowering the band by playing it closer to the bell.
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