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Thread: Have you ever done this or wanted to?

  1. #1

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    Default Have you ever done this or wanted to?

    So tonight at rehearsal as is the case most nights we add new songs the bass and guitar players literally took 20 minutes playing and replaying a song ( you wreck me ) and arguing if it was 2 step or 1- 1/2 step change blah blah blah when finally I say hey this could probably all be solved with a 2 minute google search at which point the bass player says well where is the fun it that? I said well yeah I am having a blast sitting here just watching and he then told me to "ahhh shut up"? Man to say I was mad would be an understatement but I bit my lip yet again and am now fuming.

    Of our last 6 gigs and the next 6 gigs I have been the one to get 11 of them while they seem put out when I have to call them to see if they are available for a gig because they cannot answer emails or texts in a timely manner.

    I had and may still have a chance to join another band and turned it down due to a commitment to this band but I feel if I let things go and put forth as little effort as they do this will all slowly fall apart so I just may start doing that but in the meantime.....


    Have you ever held a practice hostage to prove a point? I have a mind to go to next rehearsal and hold up everyone else for at least 15 - 20 minutes asking them to play the same part over and over and over on the computer via the PA while they sit silently waiting on me because obviously I did not practice it on my own time and now need to get it down just to see how they like it.

    I am tired of taking the high road on this front and feel it is time to make them know how it feels.. Oh Please excuse me, do not play any guitar or breathe too heavily I am trying to learn this drum part....ahhhhhhhhh man just saying it feels great : )

    what do you think?
    Last edited by MDK; 11-21-2017 at 10:41 PM.
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  2. #2

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    I get tired of prima donnas. Yea, if it doesn't get better, move on.
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  3. #3

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    A lot of times we play along to the tune on the PA for practice. but yeah, a google search would have done it.
    Are these newly acquainted musicians or long time friends? Just curious.
    I mean really, you all have to feel comfortable in knowing the parts so patience and work effort from all is expected.
    You can put a limit, example: If you (the band) don't get the tune down after ____ attempts, it gets put aside for a future date.
    Last edited by Olimpass; 11-22-2017 at 07:34 AM.

  4. #4

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    Been there. If it helps, I just had a "guitar player" experience tonight left me on the verge of saying, "that's it, I'm done"
    In a nutshell; I booked a gig in October for this Saturday night. Before booking it, I sent out a group text to make sure everyone was cool with it. Everyone was. 2 weeks ago, our rythum player casually told me he couldn't do it; his family has holiday plans...which he knew about, but decided he'd rather play a gig. Well, his wife just found out and went ballistic. I told everyone that there was no way I was going to cancel just two weeks prior, do we'd have to play it without him. Then today, our lead singer called and said the idea of doing the gig without the other guitarist was stressing him out too much...so HE wasn't going to do it. So...I found another band to fill in for us. The bar owner was pretty upset, but agreed. Oh yeah, this is the best venue for live music within 100 miles...which took me 2yrs to get into, and this the second time I had to cancel on them.
    The "fill in" band charges $100 more than we were booked for, so in a show of fairness and good business faith, I offered to pay the extra $100 out of my own pocket. We have 3 upcoming gigs, so I will DEDUCT $33.33 off the top of the next 3 gigs to reimburse myself. If anyone doesn't like it, they can quit (or fire me). I want to make it perfectly clear to them all that booking a gig is a verbal contract. When I give my word to a bar owner, it has value and bares the weight of my reputation. It may sound extreme, but the area is full of awesome bands with bad reputations that can't get a gig. Bar owners talk...just like other bands.
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  5. #5

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    I find it very difficult to take crap from everyday "normal" people, so taking it (back in the day) from musicians was a "no go".

  6. #6

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    Life is too short. None of the behavior that you've described would be tolerated by me for one second. Too many good players out there to put up with any of that kind of BS.

  7. #7

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    Yeah I don't take that at all... I'm the type to voice my opinion.
    Nothing worse then when they argue about what is the correct way.
    In that case I'd say move on and work on that on your own fellas.
    Come back next week when you've learned it properly.
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  8. #8

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    I say cut em some slack. It's only a band. I trust you have other gainful employment so this isn't your bread and butter. Throwing YOUR tensions on the pile of other tensions won't solve anything. People are people ( more specifically, musicians are musicians) and aren't likely to change all that much.

    all the best...

  9. #9

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    I get annoyed when players show up at practice unprepared...................having said that, all of the guys are always ready to go by gig-time................I still hate that there is always one lazy one that waits until the last minute to get prepared.................it is unfair (and a waste of some time) to the others.

    I can't think of a time when a band-mate cancelled a gig after having agreed to play it.................that is really awful.
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  10. #10

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    I'll just leave this here
    Practice.jpeg

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by MDK View Post
    ...he then told me to "ahhh shut up"
    That would of been it for me. What you described sounds like you're dealing with an amateur with a inflated ego. Time to make your move.

    As far as holding the practice hostage to get even?

    Nah...ditch these guys. Don't waste your time. Go for the other band and be and play happy.

  12. #12

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    My current band used to get together just to play for fun until we "learned" (covered) about 15 songs. It was more of a social thing. Then we decided we could actually learn a few more songs and get gigs. Meantime we rotated thru 3 guest rhythm guitarists which tended to ruin the whole plan. Problem was the lead has never learned anything until rehearsal time and 3-4 beers to start. After 4 years his friend the band leader gave him a portable CD player with specific instructions to buy batteries and play CD's at home while practicing his guitar parts! The guy looked surprised. He'd normally played CD's in his car while driving to and from work(30 min. total) and that didn't cut it. He is still in the social/band mindset.
    But I put up with it since the band is not my income source and I do get to gig with the band occasionally...and we seem to do less learning and more rehearsing anyway.
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  13. #13

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    MDK, I just reread your post. The second that guy told me to shut up, he would have been picking his a$$ up from the floor.

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpass View Post
    A lot of times we play along to the tune on the PA for practice. but yeah, a google search would have done it.
    Are these newly acquainted musicians or long time friends? Just curious.
    I mean really, you all have to feel comfortable in knowing the parts so patience and work effort from all is expected.
    You can put a limit, example: If you (the band) don't get the tune down after ____ attempts, it gets put aside for a future date.
    Yes they are friends and we ben playing a long time and this has really been the norm, probably my fault for continuing to think things will change.

    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    Life is too short. None of the behavior that you've described would be tolerated by me for one second. Too many good players out there to put up with any of that kind of BS.
    Yeah I agree but I have quit before and joined 2 other bands that had the same issues and some others that were even worse.

    Quote Originally Posted by SpazApproved View Post
    Yeah I don't take that at all... I'm the type to voice my opinion.
    Nothing worse then when they argue about what is the correct way.
    In that case I'd say move on and work on that on your own fellas.
    Come back next week when you've learned it properly.
    I do the same thing, I voice my honest opinions a lot and I get the impression they think I complain a lot. Hey don't say your going to make the set list and send it out tomorrow and then I have to ask where it is 3 days later? don't tell me you thought that song went well when you totally went into the bridge instead of the 3rd verse and thought nobody heard it. I am all for being positive but don't BS yourself completely

    Quote Originally Posted by kay-gee View Post
    I say cut em some slack. It's only a band. I trust you have other gainful employment so this isn't your bread and butter. Throwing YOUR tensions on the pile of other tensions won't solve anything. People are people ( more specifically, musicians are musicians) and aren't likely to change all that much.

    all the best...
    I have cut them slack and will probably do it again

    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    MDK, I just reread your post. The second that guy told me to shut up, he would have been picking his a$$ up from the floor.
    Oh he knows about it, trust me on that. 20 years ago I undoubtedly would have done the fist to face option without hesitation but I have mellowed somewhat in my ummm mature years and actually enjoy giving it back with a load of sarcasm much better : )
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    Decide whether this is love for the craft or simply an ego thing.

    http://www.redskymary.com/ NOT MY BAND, JUST A GREAT LOCAL BAND WHO SHOULD BE SOOO MUCH BIGGER IMO

    https://www.facebook.com/marcydriveband/ This is my band, please give a like.

  15. #15

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    Dude-Based on your responses to our responses........you weren't really seeking advice. You seem to have a fatalist's attitude regarding the ability to find musicians that are not douches. Not to be a pr*ck, but, next time don't waste my time.

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    Dude-Based on your responses to our responses........you weren't really seeking advice. You seem to have a fatalist's attitude regarding the ability to find musicians that are not douches. Not to be a pr*ck, but, next time don't waste my time.
    Wow

  17. #17

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    "hey guys:

    I realize we have always approached practice in a casual way and it has worked fairly well thus far but I would like to propose a new method that might prove to be efficient and helpful to all of us.....................hear me out and let me know your thoughts.................."
    Gretsch USA & Zildjian
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  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    Dude-Based on your responses to our responses........you weren't really seeking advice. You seem to have a fatalist's attitude regarding the ability to find musicians that are not douches. Not to be a pr*ck, but, next time don't waste my time.
    LOL.....This is my 3rd attempt at a response.....WOW somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was venting more than anything but the premise of my post was asking if you had ever wanted to make them wait and act like you did not practice your own part just to let them know how it feels. Sorry if I wasted your time.

    As much as you post in such useless, time wasting threads like "5 word story", "I win" , "countdown to10k", 3 word story etc etc. I would think you would be the last guy worried about wasting his time on here and I find it hard to believe you really felt that so if there is another reason you feel the need to be a pr*ck to me than just man up and say it here or pm me otherwise I will just chalk it up to a bad day and a regretful post on your part which I have had many myself. "Happy Thanksgiving"
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    Decide whether this is love for the craft or simply an ego thing.

    http://www.redskymary.com/ NOT MY BAND, JUST A GREAT LOCAL BAND WHO SHOULD BE SOOO MUCH BIGGER IMO

    https://www.facebook.com/marcydriveband/ This is my band, please give a like.

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    Dude-Based on your responses to our responses........you weren't really seeking advice. You seem to have a fatalist's attitude regarding the ability to find musicians that are not douches. Not to be a pr*ck, but, next time don't waste my time.
    C'mon man, it was time you freely spent, and he had no obligation to you. Get over yourself.
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  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by MDK View Post
    LOL.....This is my 3rd attempt at a response.....WOW somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was venting more than anything but the premise of my post was asking if you had ever wanted to make them wait and act like you did not practice your own part just to let them know how it feels. Sorry if I wasted your time.

    As much as you post in such useless, time wasting threads like "5 word story", "I win" , "countdown to10k", 3 word story etc etc. I would think you would be the last guy worried about wasting his time on here and I find it hard to believe you really felt that so if there is another reason you feel the need to be a pr*ck to me than just man up and say it here or pm me otherwise I will just chalk it up to a bad day and a regretful post on your part which I have had many myself. "Happy Thanksgiving"
    I'm just a post whore

    Quote Originally Posted by OldNARDguy View Post
    C'mon man, it was time you freely spent, and he had no obligation to you. Get over yourself.
    I'm sorry. Who are you again?

  21. #21

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    Ummm. Now do you see why bands have such a hard time staying together?

    all the best...

  22. #22

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    Please guys, let's keep things civil. I sent inthpktplayer a respectful PM and asked him to please watch how he says things. I urge everyone to always be as diplomatic as you can. We're about respect here at DrumChat. Thanks and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
    - Tom

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  23. #23

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    Shut 'er down!

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