It really depends on which grip style you intend on using. From what you are saying it apears that you want to use what is called Matched Grip. You want to mirror your right hand with your left.
For a detailed explanation of Matched Grip and its varients try this Wiki.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matched_grip
Also it sounds like you may be having basic control and stability problems. All percussionists have them to some degree. Rudimentary practice and repition is one of the best ways to perfect your grip and stability.
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