Spouses/significant others and drumming

[Gretschhead]

What does your spouse or significant other think of your hobby? Do they complain about noise, going to gigs all the time, or spending tons of money on all the gear you buy? Or do they support you and your drumming in every way they can?

I'm currently single, but I lived with my last girlfriend for 2 years. The playing didn't bother her so much, but all of the gear really got to her. I admit I have a huge addiction to percussion instruments, I am buying and selling drums almost every day. I rarely pull money out of my own pocket to purchase something, instead I'll sell or trade something I already have in order to get something different. It allows me to try out lots of different gear and often times make a little money in the process. Well, she didn't like it at all, everyday a new package showing up or going out. She would always say that I loved drums more than her. She would never buy me percussion instruments for birthdays or christmas, she said why would I buy you something you are just going to turn around and sell it. We had many a fight over my hobby .

I'm curious how everyone elses significant others feel?

[fumbled time]

Lol, Did she have alot of shoes, maybe you had more drums than she did shoes. My wife is fully supportive of anything I do but I have experianced many friends who's mates were completly against them even talking about music. I feel blessed with the one I have and get told alot that I have a great wife, I got luck , and she's a keeper. My inlaws don't think much of me yet a while back her sister told her that I treat her like a queen and that she has to make her marrige work but we are truly in love. WooHoo! F/T

[=^-..-^=]

Oooh yeah - I would NOT sell some piece of percussion she gifted you - ever. IF she gave you permission, maybe, but I would not ask for it.

You'll really need to cultivate your most important earthly relationship - your wife, and that takes work and sacrifice at times. It's better than coming home from a gig to an empty house or a ticked-off 'stranger' in your bed. If your girl said you love drums more than her, she is right - as far as her perception goes, and in this case, perception is everything.

[Quadcam79]

my wife bought my kit as a surprise for me, she loves my playing and shes also the singer in our band so life is good

[backtodrum]

My wife is very supportive and never says much about me buying gear becasuse she knows that I use only gig money that I made playing to buy it. I also bought her all new furniture for our living room with gig money so she benifits from my hobby as well. I have reminded her on occasion that I could be a bass fisherman or a hunter and have all of the revenue going the other way instead of a revenue producing, self sustaining hobby. If I were not careful, the only flack I would get from her was that music was interfering with our family time, I am careful to see that that does not happen!

[MartyM]

i too am blessed with a wonderful wife..even before we married she new i was drumming. now however i do have to watch spending..thats marriage..and important to remember that to my knowledge by others...drums can't cuddle with you at night when you need it most...LOL drums can make YOU feel good thats true...but the wonders of a good marriage i still say is not replaceable

[backtodrum]

i too am blessed with a wonderful wife..even before we married she new i was drumming. now however i do have to watch spending..thats marriage..and important to remember that to my knowledge by others...drums can't cuddle with you at night when you need it most...LOL drums can make YOU feel good thats true...but the wonders of a good marriage i still say is not replaceable

I'll have to say amen to that Marty

[Reverend D.]

My wife supports me completely. She is the most amazing wife. She is always suggesting new equipment for me to buy or parts to replace. I am the one who ends up saying that we should be saving money. Pretty cool.

[drummer]

I am also blessed with a terrific wife. She's always been very supportive. She's bought me drum gear before (especially in the beginning years). She'll occasionally get a little jealous of it mainly because I would spend so many hours at it be she understands the passion and the commitment it takes to reach a high level of proficiency.

[fiacovaz]

Two things that will set all of us straight: First, we must recognize that Music is a very jealous mistress. We just can't turn her on/off. Same with the passion for our drums...it's what we do for ourselves. Selfish? I don't think so. Second, I buy my own drum gear and to do that, I set up my own check/savings account years ago and deposit what I can into it each month. I leave the join accounts alone and have paid for all my upgrade hardware and high quality cymbals over the past several years.
My wife is my greatest supporter and is at most gigs to cheer me and the band on.
She now reminds me just how quiet the drums have been of late and encourages me to just sit behind them and play

[pastor_bob]

Frank, you are indeed a wise man, and your thoughts on life are very much appreciated. You are also a fortunate man to have such a loving wife.

[drummer]

I agree. Well said Frank!

[RHD03]

If you guys have seen the vids of my band that I post on here, you all know the level of support I have from Mrs. RHD. She has been cool from the start, and she also knew what she was getting into when we met. I couldn't ask for more when it comes to that.

[Reverend D.]

BTW! I told my wife about this thread and she insisted that I mention that she is my "Official" roadie.