Welcome to Drum Chat LDS! You are right about the lack of flaming around here. We do kid each other sometimes, but it is all meant in good fun. The bottom line is that we respect each other, and understand that we are all at different places in our drumming journeys, and each is drumming for a different reason. So feel free to ask away, and know that we will all do our best to help you out in any way we can.
As far as "feeling the fill" goes, that will be a process that gets clearer as you play. By that, I mean that opportunities for fills will naturally come up in the flow of the music, but the fills can be of differing length. Listen to the drums in music, and count to get a feel for how fills will fit in. Once you start getting that feel (and it just takes a while, although maybe not so long with you since you have the musical background), and begin understanding what fills will fit where, you will be well on your way. It really is about knowing where you are in a measure, how many beats you have left to work with, and then whether you are filling with 16ths, 8ths, or a combination of those. If you are doing 8ths on the hi-hats, then you can come out of the fill by hitting a crash cymbal on the first beat of the measure, and then back on the hi-hat on the &. Of course, this is just an example, and there are lots of variations.
Hope that helps some.
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