DrumChat Literary Jam: Let's Make a Story II

[bongobro]

Now that our friend Sanchez from drum_chick's original Let's Make a Story has passed into the literary pantheon...

LET'S MAKE A STORY II starts NOW!!!

Rules are the same: I'll start it this time, and you take it from there...and then it goes...who knows where???

Our story opens in a major Midwestern city. A middle-aged man is parking his car at the edge of a beautiful, tree-shaded park when...

[Daemon]

... a large, green Frisbee flies over his head. Just centimeters from shaving off some of his fine, blond hair which due to the easy life he has led so far, is yet to show any sign of greying. He finishes parking and looks in the direction the Frisbee came from, and there he sees...

(ok so lets try to do this one really well, when posting a portion of the story you are required to have proper grammar, use colourful adjectives, and to be respectful of ethnic groups, religions, etc.)

(ps. i cant really enforce that but someone should)

[bongobro]

(Editor's Note: Good suggestion, Daemon...and I will keep my writer's eye on this one--b-bro)

something that looked like a football huddle...the noise sounded like a football huddle. He bent down by the side of the car where the Frisbee had landed...and noticed the Frisbee wasn't a Frisbee...

"I thought Wham-O made Frisbees," he muttered to himself. "This must be a new model...it's big, it's green, but it's made of transparent plastic...kinda like Mylar...Remo..." He shook his head. "Remo," he repeated, as if he had just arrived from another planet.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone approaching. She was...

[drum_chick]

not human, but beautiful. She made eye contact with him as he slowly picked up the so-called frisbee and put it behind his back. As she got closer to him he started to breathe heavier; she was not only beautiful, she was........

[1DrumBum]

extremely tall! He stared at her thinking "I thought I was pretty tall at 6'4", but I don't even quite reach her shoulders". He opened his mouth to say "hello", but the look on her face made him reconsider quickly. She walked right up to him and stood there, looking down at him. "Oh man, I'm a goner" he thought. His hands started sweating and shaking. He started to take a step back and then, to his surprise, he dropped the "frisbee" to the ground, where it rolled out into the street and was narrowly avoided by a passing car. Her eyes became as big as saucers when she....

[bongobro]

watched him walk into the middle of the street and pick up the Frisbee. As he presented it to her, she dropped to her knees (and she was still nearly as tall on her knees as he was standing).

"You...are the one we have sought for eons..." The voice sounded like a cross between Halle Berry and the time-and-temperature lady. "You know...the mystery of Remo."

"Remo," he repeated. Now it was clear...he started to explain. "This is an Ambassador clear-colored bongo head"--

"Am...bas...sa...dor..." The spacy siren took the green drumhead and...

[PerpetualFrog]

... Placed it infront of the man. She then spoke softly, "Play my son...". The man- who in the big scheme of things had led a rather boring; planned life- was over taken with twirling twisting contorting rhythmic figures, placed his hand on the drum head, and began!...

[Daemon]

As he effortlessly tapped out rhythm after rhythm, the new art that he was learning began to seem completely sub-conscious to him. The lofty alien female began to enter a trance-like state. Having absolutely no idea that he was doing it, the man who would soon be given the name Fredrick Onaminikolafrey and a postition of power beyond the reach of humans was playing a legendary and long since forgoten song. This song is known to some as بطلة لا شجاعة من رجل عاديّة, غير أنّ هو شجاعة خمسة دقائق طويلا, but to humans who cannot even begin to understand the complexity of that name and its enigmatic pronountiation it is known as...

(Typed more then I meant too)

[bongobro]

"Ugga-Bugga-Oh, Oh, Oh," last publicly performed on a "My Three Sons" re-run somewhere in the mid-60s.

But Frederick Onaminikolafrey didn't care where or when he last heard that tune...he was groovin', brother! The football huddle--actually a drum circle--was unwinding rapidly to follow the mystical master of percussion. Ol' Fred was banging merrily on the bongo head, the hood of his car, the park bench, the trash can (which sounded remarkably like a Caribbean steel drum the way he was banging)...and...

[Daemon]

.. he ended the song with a single shot on the ufo parked next to him. The shot was loud, very loud. If this shot was written on paper you would need 4 normal 8.5 x 11 sheets just to fit all of the "f's" used to mark it dynamically. Thinking long and hard Fredrick quickly realized that the nearby alien scribe had in fact not made a mistake in his writing, but that Fredrick had indeed hit a ufo! The mystic song that was played had called them perhaps? Fredrick didn't think so. He had compiled a much better explanation...

(I didn't really want to post again so soon... but Fredrick needed life support)

[1DrumBum]

He was dreaming! Yeah, that had to be it. Fredrick felt like this was all just a dream, but he could not figure out how to wake himself up. "This can't be real" he kept telling himself. "I've got to get out of here before something really bad happens" he thought. Fredrick then turned towards the street and started walking towards the Remo UFO. "If this is real, I'm taking this thing with me" he said to himself. As he was walking over to pick up the UFO, the alien scribe jumped up from his note taking and screamed "XYPHL SCHNIKNIK CARPUTMA!" and threw his pen at Fredrick. The pen stuck right into the back of Fredricks' calf and Fredrick cried out in pain. "I'm a goner!" Fredrick thought for the second time today. The pain in his leg was unbearable and he started to stumble. "Please wake up, please wake up" he thought to himself as he started to fall...

[bongobro]

...Frederick began to see the events of his poor, pitiful life pass before his eyes...in fact he called for a re-run because there wasn't all that much to see.

He fell backward, fully expecting to crack his skull open on the sidewalk like an egg going into a skillet...instead, he began floating, hovering about 36 inches off the ground. He opened his mouth--but instead of English, he began speaking in perfect Alien...

"GRIMOSH MERCAPTO REEG CARPUTMA OGNOBINASH..." and without warning, he soared straight up--not just 36 inches off the ground, but now, 36 THOUSAND FEET IN THE AIR...where he found himself directly in the flight path of...

[crazymanwithaplunger]

Richard Branson's latest Hot Air balloon attempt to fly around the world. Frederick could only watch as the massive balloon floated closer and closer toward him. Richard Branson ventured out of his living area to survey the scenery below him, but noticed Frederick first. He stared at this man floating in mid air, staring at him. As frederick watched, Richard Branson let out a wierd scream sound, that didn't sound normal, then suddenly dropped and Frederick realised the elderly billionaire was having a heart attack.

He knew he had to do something, but what? He focused, willing himself to move toward the balloon with all his thought and power and the energy he could muster. Slowly, he felt himself start to move through the air towards ths the balloon. "I'm actually flying" he said aloud to himself, because he suffered from an uncontrollable need to anounce his thoughts aloud at random moments, a condition he had suffered from his whole life.

Momentarily astounded at his newfound ability to fly he forgot what he was doing and spent a couple of quick moments zig zagging around through the air, then remembered the dieing billionaire.

He rushed over to the balloon and managed an awkward landing on the decking area of the balloon. "Stay Calm"! he shouted at the dieing man, but then realised he didn't understand him, becuase he was speaking Alien still. All he had heard was "KRIMBACK GHUGRGHRGRH!" - Frederick thought back to his days as a volunteer lifeguard and tried ot remember his CPR training, but it was no use, all he could think of was the rythm and beat from ealier. Suddenly he had an idea.......

(sorry it's so long guys, but I haven't contributed to these in a while and had some catching up to do)

[Drummina]

and pulled drum sticks out of his back pocket and banged on the dying man's chest. He shouted out frantically in alien, "bippity-boppity boo" which means, "this man needs a doctor, quick!"

[bongobro]

But since nobody understood alien, one of the crew members mistook "bibbidy bobbidy boo" for the fairy godmother's song from "Cinderella" and literally began bouncing around the balloon...

The ballast expert (who was once a nightclub bouncer in his previous life) did the right thing--or did he?--Each jounce and jolt dropped the balloon approximately 1000 feet, so by about the third verse, the balloon carrying Richard Branson, Fredrick, and a thoroughly bumfoozled crew was now sinking toward a large fenced area...the site of a local...

[Daemon]

...but also world-renown burger bar. The aroma of the greasy, crispy, golden-brown onion rings frying and the seasoned burgers dripping their dark juices into the fires below quickly reached the nose of Richard Branson. This amazing smell set off something deep in the recesses of his brain causing him to instantly spring back to not only his regular healthy self, but over 56 times that usual health. Unfortunately Fredrick had caused the recent accident and Richard did in fact remember that small but important detail. With anger unmatched by any currently living beings, and only to ever be exceeded by one other person (though multiple times) he...

[1DrumBum]

ran into the burger bar and devoured every burger in site. This caused him to have a massive heart attack and he fell to the ground holding his chest. "Wow, he actually died twice in one day!" Fredrick exclaimed.

Fredrick then reached down and picked Richards' wallet out of his pocket and said "I think we should use the balloon and try and take the alien back home". Nobody understood what he said, but apperantly, they thought he said "Drinks are on me!" because everyone in the bar started hooting and hollering and the bartender started letting the suds flow.

"Oh well", Fredrick thought. "I'll just do it myself". Fredrick then picked up the UFO and grabbed the alien by the ear and drug it over to the balloon. "So long everybody!" Fredrick yelled.

As Fredrick and the alien started to rise into the air, Fredrick started thinking that this might not be such a wise idea. He turned to the alien and...

[bongobro]

started to drop the alien and the UFO over the side of the balloon.

The alien was the same shade of green of the mysterious Remo Frisbee...but when Frederick grabbed at her arm, she underwent a dramatic transformation...her gleaming metallic-plastic laminated skin--resembling a metal-flake LP fiberglass conga--suddenly became soft and warm to the touch. Her hair appeared from nowhere and piled itself in golden waves atop the head; and, remarkably, she no longer towered over him.

"Wow..." Frederick blinked behind his dorkish tortoise-shell glasses. "My dream come true..."

"Frederick..." she spoke in clear, unaccented English... "this is only the beginning...you see, I am not an alien...I am actually..."