+1
I see these kind of threads on a few forums that I visit.
Some are really looking for a value for the items.
Some are really looking for a free ad where advertising is a no no.
I always think "what would I do if it were my friend that wanted something I have?"
And honestly, the answer is "give it to them" Unless I HAD to make some money to pay bills or pay for the something new I HAD to replace the item with.
Because, to me, good friends are far more valuable than material things.
And doing something good for a friend puts a smile on my face far more than buying myself something new.
Call me weird. Don't mind. It's how I roll.
Drummer Chick
+1
Jesse
1986 Tama Crestar - Lacquered Piano White
2016 Roland TD-25K
2015 Tama Starclassic B/B - Indigo Blue Sparkle
I disagree. I think you have cheapened said item. You appreciated item X for the work you put forth earning as well as for the inherent qualities of item X itself. And you robbed your friend the chance to put forth effort to obtain it as well and enjoy it in such a manner. Gifts, rarely, are treated with the same respect as something which was obtained through work and effort.
"The chances of being attacked and killed by a terrorist are less than the chances of being attacked and killed by your own heart"
Carrying the message to Garcia. Today and everyday.
Temple Beth Snare Buzz-Head Rabbi
I've been told recently that they're actually putting a stop to it because it's starting to be abused. Yea, once again, they ruin it for everyone else. Lots of people just joining the forum to say, "How much should I sell ___ for?"
And by the way, your generosity is impressive! Not everyone can afford that but for those that do, it says something for their character that they would give to others like that.
As a pastor, I always think of what I can do to help another first. It's just what being a pastor is about, so when I buy something from a private party I generally don't ****er, and I sometimes pay more than is asked because I am trying to help as much as I am trying to get something I need. I have also given away gear to those that need it more than I do. CG, I don't think you should feel weird about it at all. There are many more that feel this way than you know.
Quoting gonefishin: Just have some bacon with ya when you go pick her up..........youre an instant chick magnet.
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will you be my friend?... and can I borrow a couple cymbals?
Over the years. .. Ive bought and sold and given away a lot of drum gear. Most of the gear I gave away was highly appreciated. And probably some wasnt appreciated enough. Still though, I plan to give more gear away in the future.
I hear you on that one. It makes me feel good when I just give someone something out of the blue. When I get new or different gear, I pass the replaced gear on to my brother in law that otherwise wouldn't be able to afford it. It's a win win.
Custom Classic Pro Maple 6
8",10",12",13" Mounted Toms
(2)14",16" Floor Toms
22" x 18" Kick
6",8",10" Roto Toms
14" x 6.5" Mapex Black Panther Snare
13" x 3" Pearl Piccolo Snare
Sabian: 13" Paragon Hats
14" HH X Hats
22" Paragon Ride
(2) 16" Paragon Crashes
20" Paragon Crash
18" Paragon Crash
20" Paragon Small Flange China
19" Paragon China
Wuhan:20"with gingles
8",10" Splash
Roc N Soc Lunar
DW 8002B Pedals
Tambourine
Cowbell
Sabian Squad
C C Militia
been there 2 years ago
had been helping this young kid sarting to play.
he loved my jap star classics
i decided to play bass talk to his parents and sold them 10,12,14,16 ,22 , 14 all road pro hardware IC pedals and hats no cymbals for 500.
made me feel pretrty great i tell ya
MY KITLUDWIG CLASSIC MAPLE SALESMAN13, hanging toms,16 ,18 floor toms,24 Kick, 14x5.5 snare,CYMBALSPaiste 2002 ,22 big beat , 18 med , 18 crash , 16 crash , 18 china , 14 sound edge hats
I personally appreciate gifts from friends more than something I purchase.
And I guess I tend to be around friends that are like minded.
That's just me.
Drummer Chick
Every time I buy something new. I will give away the older but still in good shape to another drummer in my area no charge. I am talking about like Metronome, drumsticks or like new heads etc. Never a whole kit yet. My MCX are too darn expensive to give away LOL.
I let my blood brother,(yes we cut ourselves and shook hands to become brothers),use all my drums and equipment any time he wants them because we are so close friends.He is more into guitar and singing,but he had them for over a year when he was playing steady in a band.I don`t do that for anybody else but I trust him with my life and he trusts me likewise and we take good care of our stuff.I told him I will keep the kit until I die and if he is still alive after that, he can have them.You can count your TRUE friends on one hand and if you have to use two hands,you know a heck of a lot of people! Way to go CG! I admire your values!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
T.C.
I decided to take a break from drumming for a while (turned out to be a long while) I lent my Pearls to a good friend, who's son (14) was taking lessons. After a while I had heard that he had bought a new kit for his son.
I went to pick up my kit, to find it was demolished. Hardware bent, shells damaged, heads all torn, cymbals cracked. I was gutted. A lot of cash, and a lot of seat time with that kit, gone.
This was something I chose to do for someone. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make that choice again, given the same opportunity, and knowing the consequence. And no, we are no longer friends. He wasn't sorry that it happened, was really kind of oblivious why I would be upset about it.
I'm not saying no one should lend gear, just sharing my experience.
That is a complete disregard for someones property. Let alone someone who is supposed to be a friend. Which you, in good faith, entrusted your property to be used by a family member of his in need. Who then in turn trashed the item simply because it wasn't his. That is deplorable and inexcusable behavior. I think that you should sue him in small claims court for the full cost of your kit including all hardware. Then he should make his son work off the cost of his ignorance. People like this need to be made an example of in order to draw them a picture and color it in so they know what not to do in the future. I fully respect people until they disrespect me, then watch out. There is no excuse for this behavior. I think that you should pursue this coarse of action.
Custom Classic Pro Maple 6
8",10",12",13" Mounted Toms
(2)14",16" Floor Toms
22" x 18" Kick
6",8",10" Roto Toms
14" x 6.5" Mapex Black Panther Snare
13" x 3" Pearl Piccolo Snare
Sabian: 13" Paragon Hats
14" HH X Hats
22" Paragon Ride
(2) 16" Paragon Crashes
20" Paragon Crash
18" Paragon Crash
20" Paragon Small Flange China
19" Paragon China
Wuhan:20"with gingles
8",10" Splash
Roc N Soc Lunar
DW 8002B Pedals
Tambourine
Cowbell
Sabian Squad
C C Militia
Big difference between borrow and give. The value of a true friend is a lot more than the value of things. A person who is a true friend wont ask... hey this thing got broken, should I replace it....THAT person will show up, come hell or high water and have it replaced with something just as good, the same, or something better. A person that would do less, is not poor, is not distressed..... he is not a real friend. Friendship has obligations, on both sides. Friendship is a bond that is deeper and holds more meaning than family you are bound to by name or marriage. Friends are family you choose, and those who value those bonds wont let stuff that belongs to you hold a lesser value than their most prized possessions. I am blessed to have friends of this sort. I value their friendships to a great degree and would not let a few hundred dollars out of my pocket endanger that bond. Thing is, I know those few people feel the same.
When I sell things I rarely try to make a profit off of anything. When I had to sell my drums, sure I was in bad need of money, but at the same time I wasn't out to get over on someone. I usually set a fair price and stick with it. The guy that bought my drums, for whatever reason I can't really remember anymore now, but we talked on the phone alot, and after hearing his situation I gave him a great deal on my kit, that didn't hurt my pocket much more, but helped him out alot. After he received them, he called me asking if I had anything left, I told him what was left, and he chose several random things, that I held aside for him and sold him piece by piece, over the next couple months as he got the money. Although he is 2000 miles away, I feel as if I made a friend through the purchase, because every couple of months I will get a long email from the guy thanking me for everything once again, and he will send me some pics. Of course the pics are the hard thing to look at, but I'm glad my kit went to a good home, and not someone that was just looking to get a great deal, and make a profit themselves. He knows I want to be the first on the list if he ever decides to sell them.
Anyways, that wasn't 100% related to the OP but I thought I would share.
hummm i have no friend who play drum
so i buy some used stuff or new stuff
i just want to pay a fair price and when it time to sell it, it the same
my 2 cents
R.i.P. FRANK YOU WILL BE REMEMBER AS A GENTLEMAN
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FRENCHY
Sorry to hear that man. I would have sat behind the kids new kit and given hit a realy good pounding.but I have too much respect for drums to do that. I would of given them a good talking for being so ignorent and not at least offer some $$$$ for the damage. Live and learn and I am sure it will be harder on the next person who wants to borrow. Not everyone is like it just takes one to ruin for others
Ploughman has it right.
And I too have been in a position a time or two where I found I was a much better friend to someone than they were to me.
I know that has made me more cautious about who I really let into my life.
I don't have A LOT of friends. I have a few that I would give my life for and I know they would do the same. The rest are friendly aquaintainances.
I am very sorry about your kit. Sadly you did learn that was not a true friend.
Drummer Chick
I'm borrowing some gear from a friend right now. A snare, a 9" Zil Bel, a 20" A Custom Ping ride, and a 16" A Custom medium crash. I take care of this stuff as if it's my own and I would absolutely not even think about not replacing something if I damaged it.
One would think they'd know why you'd be pissed about your wrecked set after buying his kid a new set. The money part is just some of why you want your set back, but it's also the sentmental value. Sorry, but that guy would have been wearing new additions to his self in the form of a bass drum for a backside, a snare drum for his new forhead, a tom for his new chin and some broken cymbals for a new set of teeth he'd be needing if he wanted to eat again, but not with your wrecked kit but his kids new set.
It's really a shame, but this kind of thing happens more than you think. I surley would have made him pay for it in some manner. But hey, I do things my own way too. Really makes me mad to read your experience with this idiot.
I personaly would not lone my set or any instruments out to anyone really. For one, I bought them to enjoy myself as a fruit of my labor. For another, I would be wondering about them all the time until I gottem back. This would leave less time for me to think of other things. Loning would just take me out of my comfort zone.
Gretsch Catalina Maple
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