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Thread: chuck norris jokes

  1. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by Drumbledore View Post
    Bruce Lee may say he invented the One Inch Punch, but he didn't reckon on Chuck Norris, who then killed him with the One Millimetre Chest Poke, for infringement of copyright.

    I guess whether I`m a Bruce Lee fan or not,that`s just not right.Its just not funny or true IMHO.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    T.C.

  2. #27

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    Quote Originally Posted by pastor_bob View Post
    Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King . . . and got one.
    Told that one yesterday to one of my students, she loved it!
    "...it's the Paradigm Of The Cosmos!" Stewart Copeland on Youtube

    668: The Number Of The Guy Next Door To The Beast.

    "A random act of kindness; it keeps my heart in shape!" - Late8

  3. #28

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    Chuck's oesophagus is so tough, it gives chillies ulcers.
    "...it's the Paradigm Of The Cosmos!" Stewart Copeland on Youtube

    668: The Number Of The Guy Next Door To The Beast.

    "A random act of kindness; it keeps my heart in shape!" - Late8

  4. #29

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    Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves
    A set of Exports and paiste's
    Add My Band! www.myspace.com/setthesails0

  5. #30

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    Chuck Norris made Journey stop believin'.

    Chuck Norris punched a cyclops between the eyes.

  6. #31

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pirate-Drummer View Post
    Chuck Norris made Journey stop believin'
    Now that's funny.....and you put Chuck and Journey into the same joke! I tips me hat off to ya.

    Chuck's favourite party trick is to do a roundhouse kick to Stonehenge, toppling the stones over and then saying to the rest of us "try doing that with ya puny dominoes!"

    Chuck's beard is so awesome and grizzly that the grizzly bear is named after it, not the other way around.....get it right, folks!

    There is a brand of kitchen wipes called Chux Superwipes....perfect for wiping up scum like it's namesake.
    "...it's the Paradigm Of The Cosmos!" Stewart Copeland on Youtube

    668: The Number Of The Guy Next Door To The Beast.

    "A random act of kindness; it keeps my heart in shape!" - Late8

  7. #32

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kazaamski View Post
    Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin.
    haha!
    Sonor - Pearl - Tama - Mapex - Paiste - Sabian - Roc N Soc - Pro Mark - Gibralter - Evans - Dixon - Mapex

  8. #33

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    chuck norris can roundhouse kick you in the back of the face

    jesus may be able to walk on water, but only chuck norris can swim over land.
    Sabian Squad (Albeit Ironically )

    Check out my Youtube Channel! http://www.youtube.com/user/AustVaiv?feature=mhee

  9. #34

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    The Moh's scale of hardness.....

    1 Talc Mg3Si4O10(OH)2 1
    2 Gypsum CaSO42H2O 3
    3 Calcite CaCO3 9
    4 Fluorite CaF2 21
    5 Apatite Ca5(PO4)3(OH–,Cl–,F–) 48
    6 Orthoclase Feldspar KAlSi3O8 72
    7 Quartz SiO2 100
    8 Topaz Al2SiO4(OH–,F–)2 200
    9 Corundum Al2O3 400
    10 Diamond C 1600
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    100 Chuck Norris CN 2,000,000+
    "...it's the Paradigm Of The Cosmos!" Stewart Copeland on Youtube

    668: The Number Of The Guy Next Door To The Beast.

    "A random act of kindness; it keeps my heart in shape!" - Late8

  10. #35

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    Chuck Norris is so tough that Metropolis fired Superman.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    T.C.

  11. #36

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    Did you know he plays a mean upright double bass? Well.......his look-alike does....

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx_XWq7dAQs"]YouTube - The Best of Ryan Larson - "Expert" Village Bass Genius[/ame]
    "...it's the Paradigm Of The Cosmos!" Stewart Copeland on Youtube

    668: The Number Of The Guy Next Door To The Beast.

    "A random act of kindness; it keeps my heart in shape!" - Late8

  12. #37

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    You are gonna be so hunted down by Chuck now!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    T.C.

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