this will come in handy on this forum at times.
Diplomacy - The art of dealing with people in a sensitive and effective way.
The key word here is sensitive . Human egos are fragile by nature therefore the art of diplomacy is essential in developing an effective conversation void of conflict.
Some think that being diplomatic means to keep your opinions to yourself. On the contrary, it simply means to voice your opinion in a careful and constructive manner. When you know how to say something diplomatically, you double the effectiveness of your statement. The reader will hear a voice of care and respect rather than judgement.
Here are a few tips:
1. Think before you speak and try not to be impulsive. If something angers you, don't reply right away. Step back and read the post again and resolve to handle it maturely.
2. Don't take things so personally. Much of the time, people take things the wrong way. Depending on how skilled the writer is, many statements can be misunderstood or interpreted different ways. You've done yourself a diservice if you always take things personally and get offended easily.
3. Assess facts before emotion. Evaluate the conversation logically first and foremost and react to facts more than your personal bias.
4. Don't always try to be right. Assertiveness and decisiveness are good traits but nobody likes a know-it-all.
5. Practice makes perfect. Just like drumming, practicing diplomacy pays off the more you practice it. You'll find yourself getting along with everyone a lot more, even in your personal lives at home.
6. Love and respect yourself. It's been proven that when we love ourselves, we treat people around us better. Continually work on becoming a better person and watch your other relationships flourish.
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How to respond in a more diplomatic and effective way:
No: That drummer sucks.
Yes: He's not my favorite.
No: You're wrong.
Yes: I disagree but respect your opinion. [or] The facts seem to state otherwise.
No: You need to...
Yes: May I suggest that you...
No: You should...
Yes: You might want to consider...
No: I hate that lick that you do on bar 4 of the chorus.
Yes: I like the way you groove.
Accentuate the positive! People appreciate compliments more than judgement. Why not tell them what you like about their playing rather than what you don't like? Unless your their instructor, it is not really your place to criticize their drumming, unless they ask you to. And even then, make sure that you tell them what you like about their playing, not just what you don't like. Build people up! Don't tear them down.
Nobody's perfect and we'll all sometimes say things that could be more diplomatic or caring. But if we all continually try to do our best (just like drumming), than this forum will continue to be a pleasant experience for everyone.
this will come in handy on this forum at times.
Have you got you're ticket for the rock train? You gotta earn that Ticket!!
Premier Genista - Pearl Masters - Primus custom snare - Zildjian A Custom- DW 5000 pedal - Zildjian Zack Starkey sticks
I play lead Drums
This forum is much better at this than many others, that is for sure.
Good tips drummer. Thanks!
I have always been one to post things like I am talking to a good friend. If I disagree with someone, I try to point out, with facts, in a non-personal way, why I disagree. Sometimes it is a bit hard to judge a person's tone based on things in writing, so at times you just have to tread a bit lightly, so-to-speak. Also, a little bit of humor can go a long way. I think most people like to have a good chuckle vs. being ticked off.
Have you got you're ticket for the rock train? You gotta earn that Ticket!!
Premier Genista - Pearl Masters - Primus custom snare - Zildjian A Custom- DW 5000 pedal - Zildjian Zack Starkey sticks
I play lead Drums
Great post, Drummer. I'm accused, often, of being too direct with my feedback here at work. So, I've developed my own political correctness vocabulary. Here's an example...
Old Tex - "You are full of Sh-stuff".
New Tex - "I believe you have reached your limit of remanufactured grass from the posterior end of the bovine species".
Tex
I'm the most diplomatic person on this forum, and if you dont believe me you can go ....
I'm really glad this thread was bumped again. It's an excellent guide and should be studied by all members. I wouldn't object if you stuck a link in the forum rules either, in a suggestive way. Might cut down on heated talks, and eliminate outbursts altogether?
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In addition to understanding that Drum Chat is based on respect for one another, I think it's also important to realize that anyone can have a bad day. The trick is not to take it personally when it happens. I know a number of members who have told me that they wrote a post in response to something that seemed a little harsh, and then thought better about it, and didn't post it. Knowing when to cut each other some slack, and just not responding in kind, is very important to a respectful attitude. Hey, I might need someone to cut me some slack next week.
Quoting gonefishin: Just have some bacon with ya when you go pick her up..........youre an instant chick magnet.
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Well thought out and written. Bravo Tom!!
Good post, drummer.
Sonor - Pearl - Tama - Mapex - Paiste - Sabian - Roc N Soc - Pro Mark - Gibralter - Evans - Dixon - Mapex
Nothing like a good knockdown dragout to keep the blood flowing.
I wouldn't know diplomacy if it bit me on the butt.
I think I'm kidding, but, I'm not sure.
is there a mark there ?
Most definitely. As a matter of fact, there will be "NO LIMIT"... just an unending quagmire of musical genius.
This thread reminds me of this
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