I'm not so sure I want to see drummer's picture...
the one he put up looks like a drunken sailor doing a bad imitation of Popeye...or is that Popeye doing a bad imitation of a drunken sailor?
Okay...I logged on just as you and Tom were wrapping up your shouting session, but from what I read here, I think you may be being a little hard on yourself. If you're expecting everything to fall perfectly in place at once like "FLASH! BAM! ALLAKAZAM!", you're going to be really disappointed. Like Tom said, you "get it" one step at a time.
I don't know of a single drummer who doesn't have at least an occasional doubt about what he or she is doing...especially if you're relatively new at drumming. And there were times when I first started that it was all I could do to keep hands and feet in sync on a simple 4/4 beat, and I thought I was driving my drum teacher nuts!
As I've said in other posts, drumming should be fun. I've discovered the less I take drumming seriously, the more relaxed I become whether it's behind the set or behind the congas. Don't misunderstand--practice and discipline are musts--but what I mean is if you have an "off" day, it's not the end of the world. Just do your best--and if you made a mistake, learn from it. Like anything else (except possibly that whirlwind courtship with your husband!), it takes time to develop drumming, and from what I've read from you, you've already come a long way!
It may be a cliche, but it's like an old cruise line slogan: "Half the fun is getting there." And you will, Susan!
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