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Thread: Because I am a Man

  1. #1

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    Default Because I am a Man

    Because I am a Man


    Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will continue to
    fiddle with a coat hanger until long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the RAC is not an option. I will win.
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
    the supermarket, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu". For all I know, these are the same thing.
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will
    open the bonnet and stare at the engine as if I know exactly what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will eventually say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me
    soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
    insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repairman gets here and has to put it back together.
    __________________________________________________ _
    Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my
    hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole programme looking for
    it.
    __________________________________________________ __
    Because I'm a man, there's no need to ask me what I'm thinking
    about. The honest answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
    Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. And if you're feeling
    amorous afterwards....then I'll certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.

    I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.

    Either pair of shoes is fine.

    With the belt or without it, looks fine.

    Your hair is fine.

    You look fine.

    Can we just go now?
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share
    equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest... .like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
    ______________________________________________
    Because I am a man, I see flat-pack furniture as a challenge to have the
    greatest possible number of left over and unused components at the end. If the assembled furniture doesn't collapse within the hour, this is merely seen as a bonus.
    ______________________________________________
    Because I am a man, I don't have to ask for directions. Unknown to
    women, the penis contains a magnetic homing device enabling men to know exactly where they are on the Earth's surface at all times. If we do get lost, it's because our wives have used too much girly fabric conditioner on our underwear, thereby blocking out the magnetic rays



    This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
    "What consumes your mind, controls your life" - So, what consumes your mind?

  2. #2

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    No need for me to study anymore..... This answers all my questions

  3. #3

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    And then some, DC, and then some!!!! LOL
    Quoting gonefishin: Just have some bacon with ya when you go pick her up..........youre an instant chick magnet.





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  4. #4

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    very funny plunger!

  5. #5

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    Hahaha good one!
    Paiste Posse
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  6. #6

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    hahahaha

  7. #7

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    Aynone got any other "Bbecause I am a Man" statements?
    "What consumes your mind, controls your life" - So, what consumes your mind?

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