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Thread: Paraprosdokians? Read on

  1. #1

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    Default Paraprosdokians? Read on

    PARAPROSDOKIANS
    (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

    1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

    3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

    9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

    10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

    11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

    12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

    13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

    16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

    17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

    18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

    19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

    20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

    21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

    22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

    23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

    24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.


    And mine is.........
    I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one.

  2. #2

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    Default Re: Paraprosdokians? Read on

    These are great I'm going to use a couple of them for sure! Thanks for the posting! I'll have to work on my own!

  3. #3

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    If it's SpazApproved then it is good enough for me

  4. #4

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    Default Re: Paraprosdokians? Read on

    Those are great PMM! Thanks for sharing
    Take care and seeya!

    Jim

  5. #5

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    Thanks Jim I am glad you like them

    Gilles

  6. #6

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    "You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice."


    That 1 made me laugh out loud.

  7. #7

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    Default Re: Paraprosdokians? Read on

    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    "You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice."


    That 1 made me laugh out loud.
    Glad it made you laugh Rick

  8. #8

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    How cool! I've never heard of it before.

  9. #9

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    Tom, you never know what I will come up with Glad you enjoyed them.

  10. #10

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    Good stuff Gilles...........I may have to steal a few of those.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by longgun View Post
    Good stuff Gilles...........I may have to steal a few of those.
    Take em all butch

  12. #12

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    Default Re: Paraprosdokians? Read on

    LOL! Those are pretty good.
    Stolen from EddieV:
    Boom, ching, boom boom ching, fuggadugga fuggadugga fuggadugga crash. Rinse, Repeat ad-nauseum.

    Quote Originally Posted by drummer View Post
    Come on Mark. You steal copy. Just look at your signature.
    Quote Originally Posted by Texdrumr View Post
    Nothing says 'tough' like a drummer with ducklings on his drums. Ha!

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pearl MCX Man View Post
    Take em all butch
    My memory isn't that good anymore.........I'll have to settle for a couple of them!

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Markadiddle View Post
    LOL! Those are pretty good.
    Yeah I thought you would get a kick out of them too Mark

  15. #15

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    Default Re: Paraprosdokians? Read on

    Those are awesome.

    Tex

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