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Thread: Singer Left us Hanging...

  1. #1

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    Default Singer Left us Hanging...

    I will try my best to not unload and rant but I just need to tell this story. I’ll try my best to keep it short and sweet. Our singer (yes the one who curses to much on stage if you remember that thread) left us out to dry this weekend. . . Long story short on his background when I joined the band he was going through a big break up of 15+ years and they have a son together. He then started seeing the girl who does our merchandise. Now I was against this from the beginning as I was in a band with a woman lead singer and we said no band dating she ended up dating the bass player then cheating on him with our producer during a CD recording so we lost our contract and the band split. Anyways…

    So Shock (that’s our lead singers legal name) lets Gary in at the BackBar at 5:30 so he can load our trailer. He helped Gary lift the heavy gear off stage and preload in the hallway. He then left saying he needed to shower and get ready before we leave at 6:30. I get there at 6 and Shock had already left so I helped Gary finish loading the trailer. Our rule is when we say a time of departure we want to leave on time. If you’re not there and miss the van then you’re driving separately up to the gig. Well 6:30 roles around and our bass player shows up so it’s just the three of us… no Shock. No big deal now he just needs to drive himself.

    We get to the venue around 7:15 and immediately start loading in to let our equipment warm up and setup as quick as we can. We like to be prompt and punctual. 7:30 our guitarist shows up and helps me setup and then gets himself setup. Then the sound guy starts setting up. Starts mic’ing up my kit and the guys amps etc. When he finishes he asks me to start our sound check. So I start sound checking all the drums and get them dialed in (9 piece kit takes a little while :D hehe) and then does our guitarist and bassist and then our backup vocals. He then does our in ear monitors and then asks for the lead singers vocals. We run a wireless mic for him and we all looked at each other and said… anyone talk to Shock…?

    Now let me tell you lately he has gotten worse and worse.. by worse I mean lazier and more comfortable pushing times and being unhelpful. Several times I’ve started songs without him even being on stage because we were all setup and ready on stage yet waiting for him… he doesn’t even sound check himself anymore because he’s just too cool… So the time is now 8:45pm we start at 9pm and we’re all saying where is Shock. Finally our manager gets a text message from our merch girl/his girlfriend who is also NOT here. She informs us Shock and her got in an argument and he will NOT be coming. He couldn’t even call us?!?!? He couldn’t tell us that?!?! So we call and call and no answer. Finally he text’s us and tells us he is not coming. He said he mentally can’t handle it. Apparently Alexis had gotten jealous that he had been talking more to his ex… who again she will never go away they have a kid together. So she went through his phone and stuff looking for trouble and found it.

    Needless to say we had to call the owners backstage and inform them our singer won’t be there. We straight up told the owners the truth and called our singer out. They even begged him to just play one set. Just one, they said it doesn’t even have to be good he just has to try and he wouldn’t do it. So we had to announce to a packed house that we had to cancel due to our singers having personal issues. It was the most embarrassing shameful thing I’ve ever had to do as a musician. We then started packing up our gear listening to people complain about how excited they were and begging us to just try and play without him. Well my guitarist does backup vocals but he’s never had to sing any full song so instead of embarrassing ourselves anymore we just kept packing up.


    Our singer left us out to hang my our necks… Has anyone else ever had such a shame?
    14pc Yamaha Maple Custom Vintage (24pc in total) | 12pc PDP X7 | 9pc Ludwig Jr. | 9pc Pork Pie ZebraWood | 6pc Sonor |5pc PDP Concept Maple Classic | 5pc Ddrum Dominion | 5pc Orbitone |4pc Sonor Martini | 58 Snare drums and growing!

  2. #2

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    Default Re: Singer Left us Hanging...

    Not the night of, but a few days before. It was in the early 90's and the singer bailed, claiming an emotional breakdown or some such nonsense. The details are fuzzy 20 years later, but long story short, our friend had recorded our demo, so he knew all the material and filled-in.

    It was our final gig ever.

    That really sucks, dude. Sorry you had to go through that. must have have been a long drive home.
    Kevin
    DW Performance series - Gun Metal Metallic Lacquer
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    Drummers can be very tempomental.....

  3. #3

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    So disrespectful! Just fire this guy!
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  4. #4

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    Wow. That is bad. BAD, Bad, BAD. As you know, your band will not survive another situation like that if word gets out. Shock (seriously?) needs to be canned. He has too many issues. We have no one in our band that would ever pull a stunt like that, however, most of us can sing if needed (we all equally suck, LOL)....just in case someone is sick. Our situation is different, we're not even close to the pro level you guys are, so its way less of an issue for us. We would have just done our best and had fun without him. It's an excuse to just cut loose. I think by doing so, the band's rep with bar owners and fans would actually improve. They would know that you got their back and care about honoring your commitments. Time to get the backup singer trained.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  5. #5

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    I'm actually going to leave myself. I've been debating it because he'll never change his ways and I don't see the band kicking him out since he started this band 12 years ago. I'm just the new guy and it's just fuel to my fire that's been burning with him.
    14pc Yamaha Maple Custom Vintage (24pc in total) | 12pc PDP X7 | 9pc Ludwig Jr. | 9pc Pork Pie ZebraWood | 6pc Sonor |5pc PDP Concept Maple Classic | 5pc Ddrum Dominion | 5pc Orbitone |4pc Sonor Martini | 58 Snare drums and growing!

  6. #6

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    Default Re: Singer Left us Hanging...

    Just go check out the video of CycleDudes daughter. Problem solved.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  7. #7

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    Place an ad on Craigslist or Ebay.. singer for sale.. maybe the band will make some money.

  8. #8

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    Yeah I'd walk with the situation that you are in, no sense tarnishing your name and reputation. Time to move on and from the few video's you posted you should have no problem finding another gig.......



    Jim
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  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by spazapproved View Post
    i'm actually going to leave myself. I've been debating it because he'll never change his ways and i don't see the band kicking him out since he started this band 12 years ago. I'm just the new guy and it's just fuel to my fire that's been burning with him.
    Quote Originally Posted by n2bluz View Post
    just go check out the video of cycledudes daughter. Problem solved.
    roflmao....
    Kevin
    DW Performance series - Gun Metal Metallic Lacquer
    24/12/16 6.5x14
    Sabian AA/AAX hi-hats & crashes
    Sabian HHX Evolution ride

    Drummers can be very tempomental.....

  10. #10

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    Wow. Sorry to hear.

    Tex

  11. #11

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    Wow, that's crazy. Both singer and merch girl need to go. Even if he gets booted, he'll still cause trouble with the band through her.
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  12. #12

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    Never. I don't play in bands with flakes.

  13. #13

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    Sad to say, but that's show biz

    happens all too often

    all the best...

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by SpazApproved View Post
    I'm actually going to leave myself. I've been debating it because he'll never change his ways and I don't see the band kicking him out since he started this band 12 years ago. I'm just the new guy and it's just fuel to my fire that's been burning with him.
    I doubt he'll ever change without something bad happening. Sounds like he's built his entire reality around his vision of being a rock star. I suspect he needs to get some help or direction...he's heading for tragedy unless he can get his life straightened out. I don't mean to dog the guy, I don't know him and everyone has their good points. I just don't like the position he has put you in repeatedly.
    Do you think a "band intervention" would work at all?
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by N2Bluz View Post
    I doubt he'll ever change without something bad happening. Sounds like he's built his entire reality around his vision of being a rock star. I suspect he needs to get some help or direction...he's heading for tragedy unless he can get his life straightened out. I don't mean to dog the guy, I don't know him and everyone has their good points. I just don't like the position he has put you in repeatedly.
    Do you think a "band intervention" would work at all?


    We had a "band meeting" two weeks ago. He said where he would be that night so we made the meeting at his choice of place. We got there and picked a table and he never ONCE joined us at the meeting. He stayed on the other side chatting with the other employees. We were there over an hour and not once did he come over to our table. I was pretty much done with this guy right then and there... and now this?! Can't show up to a show because you had a fight with your gf?! Give me a break. This is a JOB. We are hired professionals. I thought about asking him to resign or bring up him leaving instead of me. But doubt that'll go over well so I'll just find something new.

    We are having another "BAND MEETING" tonight and so far everyone has responded on our page about the meeting except for him. So not even sure if he'll show up. If not I'll make sure to pack up my gear, his own fault.
    14pc Yamaha Maple Custom Vintage (24pc in total) | 12pc PDP X7 | 9pc Ludwig Jr. | 9pc Pork Pie ZebraWood | 6pc Sonor |5pc PDP Concept Maple Classic | 5pc Ddrum Dominion | 5pc Orbitone |4pc Sonor Martini | 58 Snare drums and growing!

  16. #16

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    Whether he shows up or not I would pack up my gear and be outta that bad situation which is never going to get better.

    Life is too short for people like that to add stress to your life.

    On another not I think we would have tried to play something if we went through all the BS of packing in setting up and then having to break down.
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  17. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by SpazApproved View Post
    This is a JOB. We are hired professionals.
    It all boils down to this ...

    Sorry you had to endure such an unprofessional "you know what" ... I would run like "you know what" as fast as I could away from this guy ...

  18. #18

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    Spaz, I have to ask this......................................why are you screwing around with this idiot.

    His a$$ would have been out the door 2 minutes after the 1st stunt.

  19. #19

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    At first I was having a lot of fun just playing again... now it's definitely gotten old and quick. If he's not at practice tonight that's it. If he is at practice he better have one amazing speech to give. . .
    14pc Yamaha Maple Custom Vintage (24pc in total) | 12pc PDP X7 | 9pc Ludwig Jr. | 9pc Pork Pie ZebraWood | 6pc Sonor |5pc PDP Concept Maple Classic | 5pc Ddrum Dominion | 5pc Orbitone |4pc Sonor Martini | 58 Snare drums and growing!

  20. #20

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    i'd just leave mate, people like that don't change, he might for a few weeks but it'll be the same old story after that.

    Cheers Mark
    Have you got you're ticket for the rock train? You gotta earn that Ticket!!

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  21. #21

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    Marks right. They change for a while then it's the same old BS again.

    I wouldn't want my name attached to someone like that.

    I know that I worked hard to have a good reputation as being pretty good at what I do and being dependable. I played a 4 set gig with a 102 fever and went straight to the hospital in LA. You can't have your name mentioned with a guy like that because some of it rubs off on you and the other people.

    I don't care what he says at your meeting, it won't change, it's time to move on.

  22. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by SpazApproved View Post
    At first I was having a lot of fun just playing again... now it's definitely gotten old and quick. If he's not at practice tonight that's it. If he is at practice he better have one amazing speech to give. . .
    That's the sign man...when it starts becoming a burden and the fun is gone, it's time to call it. Or find yourself a new singer. I got irritated reading your post because I know you've told us about many problems with this guy. Ditch him. Nobody needs that drama.

    I know you mentioned your backup singer only does backup, but couldn't he have gotten through at least some of your songs? I know it's not ideal, but maybe better than canceling the entire gig? After you set up your monster kit, I would have been pissed.

  23. #23

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    Spaz..............

    You are way too good for this guy..............prima donna SOB !
    You never screw your band-mates like that -- NEVER !

    First option :
    If I were you, I would try my best to make an agreement with the other players to stick together and replace the singer.............and I mean fire his a$$.

    Second option :
    Leave on your own if first option doesn't work......you will eventually find something better.............obviously.

    P.S. Your merch-girl is a ditz.................fire her too.
    Gretsch USA & Zildjian
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  24. #24

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    Sorry about the gig Zack. Such a shame! I'm not going to repeat the great advice others have posted. You guys have worked too hard to let this guy bring you down. Time to re-group and put this behind you.

  25. #25

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    Spaz...................................update ?
    Gretsch USA & Zildjian
    (What Else Would I Ever Need ?)


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