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Thread: Leaving my band

  1. #1

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    Default Leaving my band

    Man this has been awhile coming, This is my 2nd go with these guys and really nothing has changed.

    One guitar player never ever practices until we are at rehearsal, the other guitar player has piss poor body language on gigs, complains into the mic about having to sing, constantly blames the other guitar player, and always has to work And never tells us till we have to cancel gigs and practices.

    Bass player is easily the best of the bunch but he is kind of real busy running a big business but atleast he practices and puts in the effort.

    Been back together for almost a year and have gigged maybe 15 times and I have gotten every single one of them, no one ele even tries to get gigs.

    They are reluctant to learn anything newer than the 90's and always looking for a reason why we cant do a song.

    Ughhhh so frustrating but I am done, I would have quit tonight but the Bass player is taking his wife on vacation tomorrow so i decided to wait till he gets back next week. I will go pick up my drums and talk to him. He will try to talk me out of it but I am done and part of the reason I m wriing this thread is so I can read it again next week before going over there

    We have a gig on the 11th of March and the owner called me last week and said he wanted to move us and would get back to me, if he calls back before I quit next week I am thinking of telling him we cannot do it, normally I would let them make the decision but in fairness to the owner I know they will have no desire to play it and if they get a new drummer it will take them 2 months to get up to speed, the last drummer who played with them after I left the 1st time (who is much better than me) told me he could not take the guitar player who never practices and it annoyed him.

    Anyway thanks for letting me rant, any advice please feel free.
    Ludwig Classic Maple 22x16,12x9,16x16

    Crush Sublime Birch 22x16, 12x8, 16x14

    Sabian HHX 21" ride and AAX crashes, Zildjian 14" K hybrid hats

    Decide whether this is love for the craft or simply an ego thing

    http://www.redskymary.com/ NOT MY BAND, JUST A GREAT LOCAL BAND WHO SHOULD BE SOOO MUCH BIGGER IMO

  2. #2

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    Default Re: Leaving my band

    How about you and the bass player find some new people to work with. Maybe all you need is a keyboard person and you are in business.

  3. #3

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    Isn't the whole band thing strange? You'd think you could find 4 or 5 guys that are all on board with working as a team.....but it can actually be quite difficult. Even the legendary bands seemed to struggle at times. We've all been there, and probably will be again at some point. Hang in there, things always seem to work out for the better if you keep the faith.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by 8beat View Post
    How about you and the bass player find some new people to work with. Maybe all you need is a keyboard person and you are in business.
    Good idea. If you can find a good guitar (or keyboard) player that can sing, you can be up & going as a 3pc pretty quick. If you & the bass player are tight, that's an excellent foundation. Good guitar players are always looking for a good bass & drums to back them up.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  5. #5

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    Default Re: Leaving my band

    It's tough find the right band where everyone's heads are in the same direction and same work ethic, etc. Rick eluded to that in another thread just the other day.

    Sounds like you gave it the good old college try. Good luck to you!
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  6. #6

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    A bass player and I worked in a band that was going to self destruct at any given moment back in the early '70's. (never work with a husband and wife leading a band. Come to think of it, never work with them if they are following a band.)

    Anyway, the bass player and I put together a band that lasted 30+ years.

    Bass players and drummers are the heart and soul of a band regardless of what guitar players think.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by N2Bluz View Post
    Isn't the whole band thing strange? You'd think you could find 4 or 5 guys that are all on board with working as a team.....but it can actually be quite difficult. Even the legendary bands seemed to struggle at times. We've all been there, and probably will be again at some point. Hang in there, things always seem to work out for the better if you keep the faith.
    Yes sir. As the arm chair psychologist that I am, this is about the toughest puzzle I've come across. What is it about musical groups? Everyday people come together and make companies run, and sports teams that win games etc...but in music...totally different thing!
    As you say, it's the big name groups as well. Think of over years, the big acts that have been involved in lawsuits with one another and so on. Grand Funk, CCR, Pink Floyd, Beatles come to mind off the top of my head.
    When I first came to live here in Exuma I kinda got recruited into a band. Now, these people were for the most part retired ex-pats with lots of time on their hands and beautiful homes yada yada! You'd think they'd be at the happiest times in their lives. The back biting and the quarreling was unbelievable to say the least. It totally set me back. I don't think I want to be in a band any more. I enjoy getting together for casual jams etc..which I'm doing now on Monday nights. Good grief...We just wanna play some music sans the drama!!!

    all the best...
    Last edited by kay-gee; 02-11-2016 at 05:45 AM.

  8. #8

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    I haven't been in the band scene long, but I feel your pain. I think most musicians are more in love with the idea of being in a band, than putting in the work that truly is needed.

    I'm very lucky in my current situation. But, I've already seen in many cases the flakiness and lack of commitment that runs rampant in many musicians.

    My opinion...I think you are making the right call by moving on.

    Tex

  9. #9

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    Yeah when I leave my band shortly I'm going to miss playing with the Guitarist. He's become one of my best friends. I'm even going to be in his wedding. The bassist and Singer I won't miss at all as they are lazy alcoholics who think they're big Rockstars and don't have to help or be on time.

    My plan is to start a side project. One that isn't worried about playing out live. Just concentrate on developing new music in the style I truly want.
    14pc Yamaha Maple Custom Vintage (24pc in total) | 12pc PDP X7 | 9pc Ludwig Jr. | 9pc Pork Pie ZebraWood | 6pc Sonor |5pc PDP Concept Maple Classic | 5pc Ddrum Dominion | 5pc Orbitone |4pc Sonor Martini | 58 Snare drums and growing!

  10. #10

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    Sorry to hear that :(
    Bands can be a real pain in the neck..
    Bridie

  11. #11

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    I would persuade the bass player into starting a new group.
    You two are in agreement to the point that the foundation and the objective could be arranged quickly..............like over one beer.
    Gretsch USA & Zildjian
    (What Else Would I Ever Need ?)


  12. #12

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    Well MDK ,its the same story all over the place it seems , always one that s late , or dont practice or just show up late and dont help etc.... , be as profesional as you can be and keep playing , if you want things to happend you have to do it your self most times , your already doing most of the stuff anyhow right ? , getting gigs, taking care of rental equipment etc , run it as a small company , say that bass player stays with you and maybe see him as a partner and all the others as employees , would you tolerate an employee thats always late ? , that gets wasted on the job ? etc, its all a bunch of extra stuff that you have to take care of but if you dont do it the others wont and then you get no where , say you decide to start over with that bass player , as you talk to potential new members lay the cards down on the table , let them know whats acceptable and what you wont deal with anymore , if you are the one geting the gig ?keep 10 or 15 % for your self ,anyone complaing about it ? tell them : well you get the gig you get the extra cash , but keep playing thats the key , find new guys as need be , its a pita but .... , set an exemple and drink water and soda or coffe , bar owners will notice and youl make a good name for your self and gain there trust ,even if twingners players come and go , dont wait on others , go get it , as you get new menbers just book a couple of gigs see how it goes , that new guit player is a lazy bum ? wont show up on time for those two gigs ? ,that means he never will , start finding a replacement right away , be honest , good luck and keep banging them drums .

  13. #13

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    Hmmm. Maybe I should start keeping more cash for myself as well. I do all the bookings, drive around looking for gigs, printing and hanging posters around town, etc.. It costs me about $20 per gig for posters and fuel expenses, and my cut from a gig is typically $60 or less, LOL. Now this April, I'll be paying income tax on gig money.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  14. #14

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    Sorry to hear of your situation MDK. I'd have to agree with the others.

    You stated that you wrote your post ahead of time so you can go back and re-read it. From what I am already reading, if I was in your shoes, I'd be gone already. You said yourself that nothing changes, no one practices, no on seeks out new gigs, everyone whinges about things, etc. What makes you think anything will change?(sorry, usually I'm a "glass half full" kinda guy). I don't mean to be negative but, it sounds like it's time for a change in "scenery".

    Good luck to you.
    Stolen from EddieV:
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  15. #15

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    Hey MDK, you gave it your best shot. I wish I had a bass player I could hang out with but in my town, bass players seems to be scarce in my neck of the woods.

  16. #16

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    MDK, There's a lot of guys out there who want to get something started, keep the bass player in your hip pocket and find another guitar player.

  17. #17

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    Thanks folks,
    They are good guys but what they want and their commitment level will never be where mine is. I practice at home an average of 3 hrs a week on our stuff and have our playlist on my phone that I listen to when not playing and I can tell none of them practice at all during the week.

    We been learning lonely boy by the Black keys for 3 weeks now and the bass player had to actually put the guitar players fingers on certain strings and show him when and where which wasted about 20 minutes of a 2 hr REHEARSAL while the other guitar player complained about having to use a pedal for the opening.

    Ughhh I was so peeved and it is like that just about every rehearsal. We have 52 songs and if they do not play one for 2 rehearsals in a row they forget how to play it and or the structure and it is because they do not practice at home at all.

    Like I said they are good guys and we get along well otherwise but they are just not good bandmates. I just need to break the cycle and stick to it this time.

    Coincidentally on a more positive note I got a message on fb from a band looking for a drummer so I am going to audition for them next thurs. night.
    Ludwig Classic Maple 22x16,12x9,16x16

    Crush Sublime Birch 22x16, 12x8, 16x14

    Sabian HHX 21" ride and AAX crashes, Zildjian 14" K hybrid hats

    Decide whether this is love for the craft or simply an ego thing

    http://www.redskymary.com/ NOT MY BAND, JUST A GREAT LOCAL BAND WHO SHOULD BE SOOO MUCH BIGGER IMO

  18. #18

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    Just go!! Run, do not walk, enough is enough!!! Jam with people if you can, its another form of networking, just like getting a job...I'm in the band I'm in because of jamming with people...at some point the connection to a band that needed a drummer was made by someone I jammed with sorta regularly....my situation isn't perfect, but we all do our part for the common good..

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricardo View Post
    I would persuade the bass player into starting a new group.
    You two are in agreement to the point that the foundation and the objective could be arranged quickly..............like over one beer.


    We did it over beer and pizza.

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricardo View Post
    .......like over one beer.

  21. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricardo View Post
    I would persuade the bass player into starting a new group.
    You two are in agreement to the point that the foundation and the objective could be arranged quickly..............like over one beer.
    What is this "One" word you speak of?
    Kevin
    DW Performance series - Gun Metal Metallic Lacquer
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    Drummers can be very tempomental.....

  22. #22

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    [IMG][/IMG]

  23. #23

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    My band played its last gig at the end of July last year and broke up due to clashing of personalities and other similar factors. It was frustrating for me because in my opinion, everything that went wrong could've been fixed over a couple drinks or something. Unfortunately, it is what it is. I've now joined a band alongside the bassist and the singer, rhythm guitarist and myself have started another band with another bassist. So I suppose it's all good at the moment. But in saying all that, I echo everyone's sentiments in saying that it would be nice if it was easier to work together with people in a band sometimes, but that's the nature of coexisting with other humans I suppose.

  24. #24

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    Wow MDK this exactly what I am going through. Im new this band and we have not played a gig yet and I don't see it happening anytime soon. Since November we have had 2 or 3 practices where everyone has been there and our guitarist is the same way. Im going to throw it out there next week that Im frustrated and see where it goes. Good luck in the future.
    Dave


    Frank "Fiacovaz" Iacovazzi
    RIP my friend


    Proud member of "PHROGGES AQUARIAN ARMY"

  25. #25

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    I feel for you.

    If you're not having fun, why do it? Thats something I've tried to incorporate into my life more and more as I get older.

    We just came to an agreement with our second guitar player, who was going to be done with us in a few more weeks. It was obvious that he and the other guitar player were getting on each others nerves, so we relieved him of his obligations and will either play 3-piece or have a friend sit in.

    Life is too short to not enjoy playing music when we get the chance. Good luck with the audition!

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