View Poll Results: Should I inform bar owner of my absence or not?

Voters
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  • Tell the bar owner you wont be playing, leaving out details. Just say something came up/personal etc

    5 38.46%
  • Tell owner you quit due to band related drama and wont be playing.

    2 15.38%
  • Leave it alone and do not talk to the owner at all

    6 46.15%
Results 1 to 17 of 17

Thread: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

  1. #1

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    Default Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    I got a gig last week at a local biker bar for bike week here in Laconia, I then had it out with my lead guitarist for the last time during Monday's rehersal and I walked out and quit. They just got a sub to sit in for the gig next wed, and now I am wondering if the right thing to do is call the bar owner I talked to and tell him that I wont be playing (sparing the details) or should I just let it go? Of course if I do tell him I will let him know that they have a competent fill in. I do not want to jeopardize their gig by any means
    Last edited by MDK; 06-06-2018 at 08:09 AM.
    Sonor Essential Force Birch

    Mapex Meridian Maple

    Zildjian K Cymbals

    Decide whether this is love for the craft or simply an ego thing.

    http://www.redskymary.com/ NOT MY BAND, JUST A GREAT LOCAL BAND WHO SHOULD BE SOOO MUCH BIGGER IMO

  2. #2

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    I voted the first choice -- you got the gig and the bar-owner should know you won't be there.
    No need to drag in the personal disagreements.
    Gretsch USA & Zildjian
    (What Else Would I Ever Need ?)


  3. #3

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    IMO though unless you know the bar owner personally and he hired you more than the band because he specifically loves your drumming... I would leave it alone and just let the band try to play without you. If they drown the drown. No need to more or less sabotage the band out of a gig if they think the can cover it without you. Let them fail on their own and learn the hard way.

    I will say though that one bar we use to play at stopped hiring my old band after they found out I quit.
    The owner was a drummer and he loved chatting drums with me and watching etc.
    12pc Yamaha Maple Custom Vintage (23pc in total) | 12pc PDP X7 | 9pc Ludwig Jr. | 8pc Pork Pie ZebraWood | 6pc Sonor | 5pc Orbitone |4pc Sonor Martini | 45 Snare drums and growing!

  4. #4

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    I went with 2

    It's the most truthful. To say "something came up" implies that you'll be appearing with this band in future gigs. One of the other players is likely going to mention it any how.

    all the best...

  5. #5

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    I would probably call the owner, if you’re the one that booked the gig and had contact with him. Tell him you’re no longer with the band, but, give him the contact name of whoever took over the bookings. Then, make sure they contact him to confirm the gig. Even better, show up in person with whoever is handling the band now and introduce him to the owner. That way if it goes south, you’ll be in the clear.

    When I book a gig, I consider it a personal business deal. I tell my band mates that gigs are verbal contracts that I’m personally accountable to. If my band has to cancel, I always have another band lined up to take our place and offer it to the venue. I never want an internal band problem to become a bar owner’s problem. The last time we canceled, I paid the owner $100 out of my own pocket because the fill in band I found wanted $100 more than I had booked it for. It sounds extreme...but it was money well spent. It set me apart from all the other bands he deals with, and it showed him I was a man of my word and of principal. He will remember that. Guaranteed. I could probably walk in his venue with Chickens playing kazoos, and he’d give me a booking, LOL.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  6. #6

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    I voted for the first choice. Don't know all the details but that's usually the safest way to go. If the owner likes and respects you as a person, he will likely book your next band ...

  7. #7

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    I went with # 2 simply because the bar owner is going to ask why so might as well be up front with him.

    So, I'm with kay-gee on this, and also, like Brian, I/we took our bookings very seriously.
    YOU MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU KNOW.

    YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW.

  8. #8

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    Quote Originally Posted by N2Bluz View Post
    I would probably call the owner, if you’re the one that booked the gig and had contact with him. Tell him you’re no longer with the band, but, give him the contact name of whoever took over the bookings. Then, make sure they contact him to confirm the gig. Even better, show up in person with whoever is handling the band now and introduce him to the owner. That way if it goes south, you’ll be in the clear.

    When I book a gig, I consider it a personal business deal. I tell my band mates that gigs are verbal contracts that I’m personally accountable to. If my band has to cancel, I always have another band lined up to take our place and offer it to the venue. I never want an internal band problem to become a bar owner’s problem. The last time we canceled, I paid the owner $100 out of my own pocket because the fill in band I found wanted $100 more than I had booked it for. It sounds extreme...but it was money well spent. It set me apart from all the other bands he deals with, and it showed him I was a man of my word and of principal. He will remember that. Guaranteed. I could probably walk in his venue with Chickens playing kazoos, and he’d give me a booking, LOL.
    I don't know, probably go w/2 . I'd really like to see ' N2Blues and the chicken kazoos'!
    Last edited by drummerMD; 06-07-2018 at 03:45 AM.

  9. #9

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    Can't go with any of those choices.

  10. #10

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    Can't go with any of those choices.
    Why not?
    Sonor Essential Force Birch

    Mapex Meridian Maple

    Zildjian K Cymbals

    Decide whether this is love for the craft or simply an ego thing.

    http://www.redskymary.com/ NOT MY BAND, JUST A GREAT LOCAL BAND WHO SHOULD BE SOOO MUCH BIGGER IMO

  11. #11

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    Quote Originally Posted by MDK View Post
    Why not?
    Not enough info and probably not the right option available. Are you planning on continuing to gig locally? If so, will you be doing the booking for those acts? Do you have a relationship with that particular venue owner? Do you have a reputation to protect as one that books bands in your area? The right answer depends on the answers to those a probably a few more questions.

  12. #12

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    Not enough info and probably not the right option available. Are you planning on continuing to gig locally? If so, will you be doing the booking for those acts? Do you have a relationship with that particular venue owner? Do you have a reputation to protect as one that books bands in your area? The right answer depends on the answers to those a probably a few more questions.
    I am planning on gigging locally, and I plan on doing some of the booking but hopefully not all of it. I do know this guy somewhat but not as a musician (have never played there). I am not even sure he has put my face to the drummer of the band yet as we just talked on the phone.
    Sonor Essential Force Birch

    Mapex Meridian Maple

    Zildjian K Cymbals

    Decide whether this is love for the craft or simply an ego thing.

    http://www.redskymary.com/ NOT MY BAND, JUST A GREAT LOCAL BAND WHO SHOULD BE SOOO MUCH BIGGER IMO

  13. #13

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    I went with #2 and really did not have to. I walked up to him Sunday and said hey Scott you remember me and he said you look very familiar so I told him I am the drummer with the band for wed and that I am no longer with them and they have a more than capable replacement. He looked a little disappointed (rolled his eyes) but not mad. He said he had a band just not even show up last night (1st sat. night of bike week) and was having a rough few days with bands. I reassured him the band would be there on time. I really hope they dont screw it up. Lead Guitar player is the only one I am worried about, he goes on and on with solo's, walks into the crowd with guitar behind his head, (actually hit a friend of mine's wife a few months back with it) sometimes we have to skip a song or 3 entirely that set because he can't remember the intro, and he has a hard time informing the rest of us when to end the song and ends them differently just about everytime, which is a big pet peeve of mine.
    Sonor Essential Force Birch

    Mapex Meridian Maple

    Zildjian K Cymbals

    Decide whether this is love for the craft or simply an ego thing.

    http://www.redskymary.com/ NOT MY BAND, JUST A GREAT LOCAL BAND WHO SHOULD BE SOOO MUCH BIGGER IMO

  14. #14

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    Quote Originally Posted by MDK View Post
    I went with #2 and really did not have to. I walked up to him Sunday and said hey Scott you remember me and he said you look very familiar so I told him I am the drummer with the band for wed and that I am no longer with them and they have a more than capable replacement. He looked a little disappointed (rolled his eyes) but not mad. He said he had a band just not even show up last night (1st sat. night of bike week) and was having a rough few days with bands. I reassured him the band would be there on time. I really hope they dont screw it up. Lead Guitar player is the only one I am worried about, he goes on and on with solo's, walks into the crowd with guitar behind his head, (actually hit a friend of mine's wife a few months back with it) sometimes we have to skip a song or 3 entirely that set because he can't remember the intro, and he has a hard time informing the rest of us when to end the song and ends them differently just about everytime, which is a big pet peeve of mine.

    I would have laughed so hard seeing that!
    12pc Yamaha Maple Custom Vintage (23pc in total) | 12pc PDP X7 | 9pc Ludwig Jr. | 8pc Pork Pie ZebraWood | 6pc Sonor | 5pc Orbitone |4pc Sonor Martini | 45 Snare drums and growing!

  15. #15

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    I think you did the smart thing. “C.Y.A.”! If the band DOESNT show, at least they can’t throw YOU under the bus as an excuse. Maybe most of them wouldn’t do that...but what about the guitar player that you had differences with? He sounds like he always puts himself first. Let’s say they decided to back out at the last minute...and he knows YOU booked the gig...and he suspects you may be trying to book new gigs with a new band in the near future...What is he capable of telling the bar owner?

    At least now, if he try’s anything funny, the bar owner can say, “I was told days ago you had a good replacement drummer lined up. What’s the problem?”.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  16. #16

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    Quote Originally Posted by MDK View Post
    Lead Guitar player is the only one I am worried about, he goes on and on with solo's, walks into the crowd with guitar behind his head, (actually hit a friend of mine's wife a few months back with it) sometimes we have to skip a song or 3 entirely that set because he can't remember the intro, and he has a hard time informing the rest of us when to end the song and ends them differently just about everytime, which is a big pet peeve of mine.
    OMG -- a super-stud that has a difficult time with the beginnings and endings of songs...................good thing he isn't an airline pilot.
    I hate guys like that; I'd buy him a new mirror and walk out.
    You CLEARLY made a good choice.
    Gretsch USA & Zildjian
    (What Else Would I Ever Need ?)


  17. #17

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    Default Re: Quit the band before gig dilemma Poll

    I'm late to the thread.

    My initial thought was - stay out of it, say nothing.
    But - I do bookings, too, and I realized - if I did the booking, I'd want to have a quick word with the owner to let them know that I'm no longer involved.
    I would want to protect my reputation. An owner could draw a wrong conclusion and think I bailed on a commitment.

    Ya done good.

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