Rich, I'm still catching up here, so I ran across this thread and got to read about your journey since the divorce. I know it's been tough (been there, did that), but I'm glad you were able to cling to the things that could help you through (also been there, did that). As to the relationship with your son, just continue to be there for him, and tell him you love him, and it will work out. When I went through my divorce, I was so worried about losing the relationship I had with my kids. A friend told me that he went through the same thing, but over time the kids just became closer and closer to him. The same thing happened with me, and over the years I have talked with my kids by phone on a regular basis, and have tried to see them personally for their milestone moments, and any time in between.
Today, I am retired and living with my daughter and her family (yes, I made darn sure that my son-in-law was onboard with this
). All this happened because my daughter and son-in-law needed help with their kids (didn't want them in daycare all the time), and my daughter was comfortable with the idea of me spending the rest of my life with them. My son is going through a rough patch in his life right now, and he and I talk nearly every day. I tell you this so that you will know that all is not necessarily going to be what, on the surface, might appear to be right now.
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