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Thread: Packed Up My Drums and Left Home

  1. #1

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    Default Packed Up My Drums and Left Home

    Friends...I owe you an explanation on my absence from DC.

    After 20 years of marriage, the wife and I called it quits so I threw my drums and clothes into my car and left home on May 11th and I haven't looked back since and I'm doing great!

    Special shout out to Gilles (aka Pearl_MCX_Man) for checking in on my well being.

    I spent the next two months sleeping on the floor next to my kit at my friend's home recording studio as I looked for an apartment.



    It has its own shower, toilet, sink and a fridge so I was set!





    I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the guys in my band. If it wasn't for the guitar player, I would of been homeless while I looked for a place to live and the bass player, who's an avid garage sale hunter, found kitchenware and utensils that I could use once I got settled.


  2. #2

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    continued...

    During the last month, I moved out of the studio and spent 26 days living in a "no tell, motel". I sat outside of my motel room door after work everyday and watched the homeless dumpster diving looking for food, cans or bottles. I learned a lot about the homeless during my time on the "streets".



    I moved into my apartment on August 7 and started the transition to get my drum gear out of my ex's garage on that very day. I sold my PA but kept all of my hardware. This is how it looked when I left home.

    Before:



    Now:




  3. #3

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    continued...

    I had to flip the rooms around in the apartment to accommodate 20 years of hoarding drum gear. What I didn't want was to walk into the front door to see all of my gear right off the bat so I got my bed, TV and recliner in the "living room" and the rest of the crap goes in the bedroom.

    Before:



    After:



    Before:



    After:


  4. #4

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    continued...

    What I miss the most about leaving home is my son Zach. When I started DC, he was 5 and I got him out on a few gigs:







    My first prepared meal in my new place was with Zach. It took 3 months to get to this point but it was the best steak dinner I had in a long time!


  5. #5

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    Late8, I don't know what to say. You've killed it. I'm so proud of you yet sad all at the same time.

    If that is your boy in the picture, man has he grown up. WOW!

    Rock on, brother.

    Speaking for myself, we got each others numbers. I didn't want to intrude but you know we are always thinking about you. Glad things are looking up for you. Thanks for the update.
    Signature here

  6. #6

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    It is never easy going through anything like this. You've done a great job. Keep your head up and keep fighting.
    Six piece Mapex Armory, Black Panther Blade and Orange County Custom snare drums, Centent Emperor cymbals, and Vater Drumsticks.

    Highway 49 Band


  7. #7

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    Dang man, had no idea til I saw the thread. That sucks about leaving but it looks like you really turned around and made the best of the situation, so congrats on that. Can you still visit your son from time to time, at least? Cheers.
    ZildjianLeague/LP/Aquarian/Mapex/Pearl
    Snares: 4
    RIP- Frank, Wolvie, Les Paul
    Quote Originally Posted by Pearl MCX Man View Post
    I wish I was your wife
    Quote Originally Posted by amdrummer View Post
    if double bass is cheating then so is using two sticks

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  8. #8

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    Sorry to hear the news but happy to see you are rolling with the changes. My wife and I almost had the same thing happen 2 months ago after 20 years but I think we have gotten past it. Time will tell. Best of luck buddy.
    Crush Sublime Birch

    Ludwig Classic Maple (IN UTERO)

    Sabian HHX 21" ride and AAX crashes, Zildjian 14" K hybrid hats

    Decide whether this is love for the craft or simply an ego thing

    http://www.redskymary.com/ NOT MY BAND, JUST A GREAT LOCAL BAND WHO SHOULD BE SOOO MUCH BIGGER IMO

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bish View Post
    Late8, I don't know what to say. You've killed it. I'm so proud of you yet sad all at the same time.

    If that is your boy in the picture, man has he grown up. WOW!

    Rock on, brother.

    Speaking for myself, we got each others numbers. I didn't want to intrude but you know we are always thinking about you. Glad things are looking up for you. Thanks for the update.
    Thanks Mark! I've been lurking on DC from time to time and Wow! You're band has played at some awesome venues as of late. I'm liking the beech Yamaha's and totally jealous that Spaz made off with the Ddrums! Thanks for the positive vibes and I'll live my GAS through you and the rest of the gang here on DC!

    Quote Originally Posted by DrumWhipper View Post
    It is never easy going through anything like this. You've done a great job. Keep your head up and keep fighting.
    Thanks DW! It's awesome you're working with a hall of fame blues musician. Digging the Sabian mixer you bought recently! The video your wife made sounded really good. I can hear the toms and the kick now that it's mic'd up!

    Quote Originally Posted by Russ View Post
    Dang man, had no idea til I saw the thread. That sucks about leaving but it looks like you really turned around and made the best of the situation, so congrats on that. Can you still visit your son from time to time, at least? Cheers.
    Hey Russ! I'm so glad to see you posting again. It's been years since I last read your posts! Yeah, it's been a long road for me since I moved out in May. I've come to appreciate so many things that I've taken for granted. I plan on spending as much time with Zach as I can. We have joint custody but at the present time, he spends most of it at his mom's house. I've moved back to Sacramento which is 45 minutes away from the Acampo, which is a rural unincorporated area north of Lodi.

    Zach's busy with marching band (freshman in high school) and he's playing saxophone. I'm hoping as he matures, we can have a good father and son relationship but as of now, he's preoccupied with his new phone his mom bought him for his 8th grade graduation. I couldn't get him off his phone when we spent an afternoon together but I guess that's to be expected at his age?




  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by MDK View Post
    Sorry to hear the news but happy to see you are rolling with the changes. My wife and I almost had the same thing happen 2 months ago after 20 years but I think we have gotten past it. Time will tell. Best of luck buddy.
    Thanks MDK and good luck to you too!

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by late8 View Post

    Hey Russ! I'm so glad to see you posting again. It's been years since I last read your posts! Yeah, it's been a long road for me since I moved out in May. I've come to appreciate so many things that I've taken for granted. I plan on spending as much time with Zach as I can. We have joint custody but at the present time, he spends most of it at his mom's house. I've moved back to Sacramento which is 45 minutes away from the Acampo, which is a rural unincorporated area north of Lodi.

    Zach's busy with marching band (freshman in high school) and he's playing saxophone. I'm hoping as he matures, we can have a good father and son relationship but as of now, he's preoccupied with his new phone his mom bought him for his 8th grade graduation. I couldn't get him off his phone when we spent an afternoon together but I guess that's to be expected at his age?
    Oh yeah it's crazy with the phones now, Toys R Us went outta business over it. When I was a kid, you were one of the lucky ones if you had MAYBE a pager or something - cellphones were relatively new so not many people had em yet unless they were well off. I'm sure you two will figure out a way to keep the bond going, just take it a day at a time. Pretty cool to live in a studio like that, for the time you did - that's like a dream come true. Surrounded by the tools of the musical trade, positive energy and influence. Anyways, glad you're holding up reasonably well all things considered. Stay solid.
    ZildjianLeague/LP/Aquarian/Mapex/Pearl
    Snares: 4
    RIP- Frank, Wolvie, Les Paul
    Quote Originally Posted by Pearl MCX Man View Post
    I wish I was your wife
    Quote Originally Posted by amdrummer View Post
    if double bass is cheating then so is using two sticks

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  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Russ View Post
    ....Pretty cool to live in a studio like that, for the time you did - that's like a dream come true. Surrounded by the tools of the musical trade, positive energy and influence. Anyways, glad you're holding up reasonably well all things considered. Stay solid.
    That's exactly the attitude I had living in the studio. I woke up next to my drums everyday and said to myself, "I'm living the dream of a full time musician, broke but happy to still have enough left in me to be creative and yet still persevere through it all". Welcome back and thanks for being you!

  13. #13

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    Wow, Rich --- that sux.
    I was wondering what had happened that was taking all your time................a new band, a second job ?
    I hate to hear the news and hope you are handling all this as well as possible.

    Time to narrow your focus to son, drums, and daily work..................you can get through it all.
    Don't forget to come back here and discuss with friends.

    Regards,
    Richard
    Gretsch USA & Zildjian
    (What Else Would I Ever Need ?)


  14. #14

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    I'm sorry to hear but glad you are back and doing well!!
    14pc Yamaha Maple Custom Vintage (24pc in total) | 12pc PDP X7 | 9pc Ludwig Jr. | 8pc Pork Pie ZebraWood | 6pc Sonor | 5pc Ddrum Dominion | 5pc Orbitone |4pc Sonor Martini | 55 Snare drums and growing!

  15. #15

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    Glad to hear from you again, and good to see you adapted and overcame!

    The wife and I are doing OK...but I must admit that since our youngest graduated and is rarely around, it’s been “odd”. We’ve spent the last 20yrs focused on the boys. Now, it’s pretty much just “us”...and we’re having issues adjusting to the situation and relating with each other. “Empty Nest Syndrome” I guess...
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  16. #16

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    late8, you don't owe us an explanation for anything.
    Hope all is going well and that you and family are healthy.

  17. #17

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    hey Rich good to hear from you! sorry about the circumstances you went through
    RED DIRT MOUNTAIN
    UFiP TAMAHA Zildjian REGAL TiP

  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by slinky View Post
    hey Rich good to hear from you! sorry about the circumstances you went through
    iate8! . . . . . . . . .'the heart and soul of Drum Chat!' Glad to hear from you again!
    Last edited by drummerMD; 09-07-2018 at 07:35 AM.

  19. #19

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    Sorry about the rough times Late but glad to hear you are happy and landed in your feet.

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricardo View Post
    Wow, Rich --- that sux.
    I was wondering what had happened that was taking all your time................a new band, a second job ?
    I hate to hear the news and hope you are handling all this as well as possible.

    Time to narrow your focus to son, drums, and daily work..................you can get through it all.
    Don't forget to come back here and discuss with friends.

    Regards,
    Richard
    Thanks Ricky! Just another bump in the road for me. My music and drumming has kept me in the right direction and you guys here on DC have been awesome! I'm looking forward to see what my next phase in life has to offer. It was an eye opener to be back out on my own again to say the least. I feel like I have the independence a college grad but at 58.

    Quote Originally Posted by SpazApproved View Post
    I'm sorry to hear but glad you are back and doing well!!
    Thanks Spaz!

    Quote Originally Posted by N2Bluz View Post
    Glad to hear from you again, and good to see you adapted and overcame!

    The wife and I are doing OK...but I must admit that since our youngest graduated and is rarely around, it’s been “odd”. We’ve spent the last 20yrs focused on the boys. Now, it’s pretty much just “us”...and we’re having issues adjusting to the situation and relating with each other. “Empty Nest Syndrome” I guess...
    Thanks Brian! Glad to be back. My son Zach will be graduating high school in four years and the question that kept coming up in my head was "Can I live with this woman for the rest of my life after the kid's gone?" I answered my own question before he stepped foot on his high school campus for the first time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpass View Post
    late8, you don't owe us an explanation for anything.
    Hope all is going well and that you and family are healthy.
    Thanks Olimpass!

    Quote Originally Posted by slinky View Post
    hey Rich good to hear from you! sorry about the circumstances you went through
    Thanks slinky but I'm so much happier today than I have ever been but it took us 20 years to figure it out!

    Quote Originally Posted by drummerMD View Post
    iate8! . . . . . . . . .'the heart and soul of Drum Chat!' Glad to hear from you again!
    Thank you drummerMD! Very kind words!

    Quote Originally Posted by Texdrumr View Post
    Sorry about the rough times Late but glad to hear you are happy and landed in your feet.
    Whew! I made Randy! I took my drums and hit the road. I took nothing and started completely from scratch...not even a frying pan to my name. As I look back at where I was 3 months ago (homeless), I feel empowered! No more guilty feelings about perusing music or buying drum gear and it feels good to come back to this drum community and feel the support we give each other as drummers. Thank you very much for that!

  21. #21

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    Wow Rich....very sorry to hear that you're going through a rough patch. You know what they say.....what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You seem to be handling it as best you can. Good luck and welcome back.

  22. #22

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    Sorry to hear that your marriage imploded, but it's good to see you trying to make the best of the situation.
    Mmm... Saturns.

  23. #23

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    It happens to a lot of people Rich. You'll get through it and come out stronger. Glad you had someone help you. There are some real angels out there. Best of luck to you and thanks for sharing your story!
    - Tom

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  24. #24

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    Two of my marriages went out the window, so I can relate to this song and dance. It blows, just does. But like most have said, i'll echo that it does get better, eventually it doesn't hurt anymore. Where we begin, is never where we end, and no matter where any of us go, the road has to end somewhere, you know? At first it feels really intense and painful, but eventually it becomes a memory you can look back on, but not be as troubled by as you were in the beginning. My best advice is to stay as busy and distracted as you can - idle hands are the devil's playground. If you wanna talk beyond that, hit up my email or pm's. It's a tough time and helps if you can vent to someone about it.
    ZildjianLeague/LP/Aquarian/Mapex/Pearl
    Snares: 4
    RIP- Frank, Wolvie, Les Paul
    Quote Originally Posted by Pearl MCX Man View Post
    I wish I was your wife
    Quote Originally Posted by amdrummer View Post
    if double bass is cheating then so is using two sticks

    Forum Rules
    DrumBum
    No metronome?
    The Rudiments

  25. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    Wow Rich....very sorry to hear that you're going through a rough patch. You know what they say.....what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You seem to be handling it as best you can. Good luck and welcome back.
    Quote Originally Posted by weezy View Post
    Sorry to hear that your marriage imploded, but it's good to see you trying to make the best of the situation.
    Quote Originally Posted by drummer View Post
    It happens to a lot of people Rich. You'll get through it and come out stronger. Glad you had someone help you. There are some real angels out there. Best of luck to you and thanks for sharing your story!
    Quote Originally Posted by Russ View Post
    Two of my marriages went out the window, so I can relate to this song and dance. It blows, just does. But like most have said, i'll echo that it does get better, eventually it doesn't hurt anymore. Where we begin, is never where we end, and no matter where any of us go, the road has to end somewhere, you know? At first it feels really intense and painful, but eventually it becomes a memory you can look back on, but not be as troubled by as you were in the beginning. My best advice is to stay as busy and distracted as you can - idle hands are the devil's playground. If you wanna talk beyond that, hit up my email or pm's. It's a tough time and helps if you can vent to someone about it.
    Bumping this up to say "Thanks" for the support guys! Had to come to grips with the reality of my financial situation (lack of $) so I had to do the inevitable a few months ago and sold my beloved Gretsch USA Customs (shell pack only). I know I ain't the first drummer to ever have to sell a kit(s) to get by but it was "money" sitting on the floor of my apartment that I had to turn into cash. Yes it sucked but I'll come back to Gretsch someday soon!

    Last edited by late8; 01-10-2019 at 06:06 PM.

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