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Thread: Hit a massive rough patch

  1. #1

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    Default Hit a massive rough patch

    I donít really like to comment on my personal life but I just need to get this out. In the span of less than a week I did horrible on my final exams, my girlfriend broke up with me and iím not getting into my dream career field this year. My heart is shattered and I have no desire to do anything anymore. I know time will heal but I just feel absolutely hopeless right now. Iíve made a lot of mistakes and it only seems to be getting worse. Iím a mess.
    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    There is intelligent life out there. The problem is that there isn't any here.

    -Mike

  2. #2

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    I am truly sorry for what you are going through. Believe me when I tell you that we have all been there in some way. Nothing I can say will make you stop feeling this pain. I have been there and the only advice I can give you is to keep moving forward, and never give up. You are in my thoughts.

  3. #3

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    I've had my share of mental breakdowns and issues. Even had to seek therapy in college after some really really rough stuff went down.

    Just keep your head up my man
    12pc Yamaha Maple Custom Vintage (23pc in total) | 12pc PDP X7 | 9pc Ludwig Jr. | 8pc Pork Pie ZebraWood | 6pc Sonor | 4pc Ddrum Dominion | 5pc Orbitone |4pc Sonor Martini | 50 Snare drums and growing!

  4. #4

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    Not sure how old you are, but I’m assuming traditional college age(?). I had some extremely rough times in my early 20’s as well. Mostly revolved around a girl that left me standing at the alter...and living in an empty house that I couldn’t afford, 200 miles away from friends & family. To say it was rough would be an understatement. But......

    I’ll tell you the same thing that someone much older than myself at the time said; “You’re young, smart, and talented. You have an entire life ahead of you. It will be full of disappointments and rough times, but also happiness, success and joy. You can do anything you want. You’ve got the world by the tail, but you just don’t realize it.”
    He was right. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but looking back, I now understand. There are things I might do differently if given a second chance, BUT, it was the rough times that provided me with all the opportunities I was given. A life without challenges, failures and heartbreak is not much of a life. I’ve grown to embrace them for what they are and am thankful for them.
    Go out there, grab life by the Cajon, and make it what you want it to be.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  5. #5

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    Default Re: Hit a massive rough patch

    So sorry to hear about your misfortune. The good news is, you're not going through it alone. Most everyone has experienced this type of perfect storm in their lives, often more than once. Allow yourself a day to cry in your cereal and cuss at the stars, then cruise over to YouTube and look up inspiring videos on happiness and motivation. Start with a few funny comedian clips or old reruns of Seinfeld or whatever makes you laugh. It's free therapy! Then, sit down and write out your immediate goals and get busy. Half the fun of life is the journey itself. Once you're focused on today and the future, everything gets easier. Good luck my friend!
    - Tom

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  6. #6

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    Default Re: Hit a massive rough patch

    If you don't have the bad times, you will never recognize the good 1's.

    BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE ABOUT 15 TEE SHIRTS TO REMIND ME.

    Point being, we live through this crap. I can't think of 1 friend of mine that has had clear sailing through his/her life. There were times in my life where I felt like a deck chair on the Titanic a couple of hundred feet from that iceberg.

    You will live through this, I know that based on 1 simple fact, WE ALL DO.
    YOU MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU KNOW.

    YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW.

    VAE VICTIS

    VENI, VEDI, I WENT AND HAD SOME SCOTCH. THEN, AND ONLY THEN, DID I VICI.

    THEN IT HIT ME THAT I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT A FEW PORT- A - POTTY'S.

    IT WAS A LONG RIDE HOME. THE WOODS WERE OUT BECAUSE THE BEARS ARE THERE.

    DOES A BEAR POOP IN THE WOODS? YOU CAN BET YOUR BIPPY ON THAT.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by thunderstruck View Post
    I am truly sorry for what you are going through. Believe me when I tell you that we have all been there in some way. Nothing I can say will make you stop feeling this pain. I have been there and the only advice I can give you is to keep moving forward, and never give up. You are in my thoughts.
    I appreciate that TS. I have one more final tomorrow and then I can relax with the family until January.
    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    There is intelligent life out there. The problem is that there isn't any here.

    -Mike

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by SpazApproved View Post
    I've had my share of mental breakdowns and issues. Even had to seek therapy in college after some really really rough stuff went down.

    Just keep your head up my man

    Thanks man. I know I’m not the only one to have gone through this sort of thing. Always great to hear from you Zack.
    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    There is intelligent life out there. The problem is that there isn't any here.

    -Mike

  9. #9

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    Default Re: Hit a massive rough patch

    Quote Originally Posted by N2Bluz View Post
    Not sure how old you are, but I’m assuming traditional college age(?). I had some extremely rough times in my early 20’s as well. Mostly revolved around a girl that left me standing at the alter...and living in an empty house that I couldn’t afford, 200 miles away from friends & family. To say it was rough would be an understatement. But......

    I’ll tell you the same thing that someone much older than myself at the time said; “You’re young, smart, and talented. You have an entire life ahead of you. It will be full of disappointments and rough times, but also happiness, success and joy. You can do anything you want. You’ve got the world by the tail, but you just don’t realize it.”
    He was right. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but looking back, I now understand. There are things I might do differently if given a second chance, BUT, it was the rough times that provided me with all the opportunities I was given. A life without challenges, failures and heartbreak is not much of a life. I’ve grown to embrace them for what they are and am thankful for them.
    Go out there, grab life by the Cajon, and make it what you want it to be.
    I’ll take your advice Brian. I’m 20. Second year of college. I hope one day I can look back and laugh at this whole situation.
    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    There is intelligent life out there. The problem is that there isn't any here.

    -Mike

  10. #10

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    Default Re: Hit a massive rough patch

    Quote Originally Posted by drummer View Post
    So sorry to hear about your misfortune. The good news is, you're not going through it alone. Most everyone has experienced this type of perfect storm in their lives, often more than once. Allow yourself a day to cry in your cereal and cuss at the stars, then cruise over to YouTube and look up inspiring videos on happiness and motivation. Start with a few funny comedian clips or old reruns of Seinfeld or whatever makes you laugh. It's free therapy! Then, sit down and write out your immediate goals and get busy. Half the fun of life is the journey itself. Once you're focused on today and the future, everything gets easier. Good luck my friend!

    Thanks Tom. I took a couple of days for myself. I don’t expect to feel better immediately but this definitely helped.
    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    There is intelligent life out there. The problem is that there isn't any here.

    -Mike

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    If you don't have the bad times, you will never recognize the good 1's.

    BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE ABOUT 15 TEE SHIRTS TO REMIND ME.

    Point being, we live through this crap. I can't think of 1 friend of mine that has had clear sailing through his/her life. There were times in my life where I felt like a deck chair on the Titanic a couple of hundred feet from that iceberg.

    You will live through this, I know that based on 1 simple fact, WE ALL DO.
    Thanks for your words of wisdom Rick. I realized i’m worried for no good reason and it is what it is. There’s nothing I can do to change the past. I’m feeling better for my last exam tomorrow. Had a chance to calm down and study again. I’m just waiting until 4:30 tomorrow when I can start my winter break.
    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    There is intelligent life out there. The problem is that there isn't any here.

    -Mike

  12. #12

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    Default Re: Hit a massive rough patch

    20 Mike, 20. Wet behind the ears and 2-3 years out of Pampers, and you think you have problems. Mike, my friend, the crazy BS that is life hasn't even started yet.
    YOU MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU KNOW.

    YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW.

    VAE VICTIS

    VENI, VEDI, I WENT AND HAD SOME SCOTCH. THEN, AND ONLY THEN, DID I VICI.

    THEN IT HIT ME THAT I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT A FEW PORT- A - POTTY'S.

    IT WAS A LONG RIDE HOME. THE WOODS WERE OUT BECAUSE THE BEARS ARE THERE.

    DOES A BEAR POOP IN THE WOODS? YOU CAN BET YOUR BIPPY ON THAT.

  13. #13

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    What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Cliche I know......but true. Oh, and as Rick so eloquently put it....you ain't seen nothin' yet.

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Cliche I know......but true. Oh, and as Rick so eloquently put it....you ain't seen nothin' yet.
    What doesn't kill you teaches you to get out of the way sooner.

    Part of the problem is that when we are young everything is magnified. I look back on things that, at the time, were catastrophic, and realized that they were no more serious than a broken drumstick.
    YOU MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU KNOW.

    YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW.

    VAE VICTIS

    VENI, VEDI, I WENT AND HAD SOME SCOTCH. THEN, AND ONLY THEN, DID I VICI.

    THEN IT HIT ME THAT I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT A FEW PORT- A - POTTY'S.

    IT WAS A LONG RIDE HOME. THE WOODS WERE OUT BECAUSE THE BEARS ARE THERE.

    DOES A BEAR POOP IN THE WOODS? YOU CAN BET YOUR BIPPY ON THAT.

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    Part of the problem is that when we are young everything is magnified. I look back on things that, at the time, were catastrophic, and realized that they were no more serious than a broken drumstick.
    I fall back on this concept all the time. Every time something seemingly “life changing” happens...or every time I hear someone say, “how could the good Lord let this happen”. I correlate it to when we were young children; like when we wanted a particular toy, or wanted to go somewhere (like the park) and our parents said “no”. At the time, it seemed like the end of life as we knew it. We would cry, throw a temper tantrum, or whatever, because, from the perspective of our very limited life experiences at the time, it WAS a BIG deal. We just couldn’t understand why or how or parents could do that to us....we just didn’t have the total life perspective that our parents did at the time. Looking back now from our old age, we understand and accept that it was in our best interest. Such thoughts of childhood issues never cross our mind.
    The way I see it, that cycle of perspective and growth never stops, regardless of our age, until we fail to grow as a person.
    I try to keep faith that no matter what happens in life, my perspective remains extremely narrow in the “grand design”. I also take comfort that the things beyond my comprehension remain there. If they didn’t, we’d never be able to enjoy life....just like when we were young children and the thoughts of paying the electric bill or deciding to buy a gallon of milk for our own child instead of the toy they are obsessing over, never crossed our minds.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  16. #16

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    Not to pour salt into a wound, but, many (not all) "whoas me" stories are self inflicted traumas. Some catastrophes we have no control over avoiding. Many we do. Doesn't make you feel any better. Fact of life though.

  17. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by N2Bluz View Post
    I fall back on this concept all the time. Every time something seemingly “life changing” happens...or every time I hear someone say, “how could the good Lord let this happen”. I correlate it to when we were young children; like when we wanted a particular toy, or wanted to go somewhere (like the park) and our parents said “no”. At the time, it seemed like the end of life as we knew it. We would cry, throw a temper tantrum, or whatever, because, from the perspective of our very limited life experiences at the time, it WAS a BIG deal. We just couldn’t understand why or how or parents could do that to us....we just didn’t have the total life perspective that our parents did at the time. Looking back now from our old age, we understand and accept that it was in our best interest. Such thoughts of childhood issues never cross our mind.
    The way I see it, that cycle of perspective and growth never stops, regardless of our age, until we fail to grow as a person.
    I try to keep faith that no matter what happens in life, my perspective remains extremely narrow in the “grand design”. I also take comfort that the things beyond my comprehension remain there. If they didn’t, we’d never be able to enjoy life....just like when we were young children and the thoughts of paying the electric bill or deciding to buy a gallon of milk for our own child instead of the toy they are obsessing over, never crossed our minds.
    Great perspective! Love this.

    all the best...

  18. #18

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    When you get to be my age you'll have been through a few of these. Buying a new distraction helps. Birch/Bubinga is selling well. Sold one this week, as a matter of fact.

    Hey, if life gets that bad, bail is usually only 10% of the total damage. You'll be out before you know it.


    BTW, I just got a new laptop. It's very belligerent. Sorry for anything spewing until I can active the compassion app.
    Signature here

  19. #19

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  20. #20

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    I had a heart to heart with myself tonight. I don’t play the drums as often as I used to, and that’s gonna change. It brought me joy then, and it’s gonna bring me joy now. My classes start again in 5 days. I feel good now. I want to upload a drum cover on here very soon.
    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    There is intelligent life out there. The problem is that there isn't any here.

    -Mike

  21. #21

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    Cool. Looking forward to seeing it.

  22. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by FlyByNight View Post
    I had a heart to heart with myself tonight. I don’t play the drums as often as I used to, and that’s gonna change. It brought me joy then, and it’s gonna bring me joy now. My classes start again in 5 days. I feel good now. I want to upload a drum cover on here very soon.
    Sounds like things are looking up Mike! Drumming is getting me through my second divorce as it did the first one. Live one day at a time.

  23. #23

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    Rich, I didn't know that you belonged to the multiple divorce club.

    I've spent a total of 10 years in the married column and have come to the firm conclusion that being single is the way to go. You don't have to explain why you didn't clean up after your friends were over the night before to watch a game, why there are dishes in the sink and a case of beer in the fridge where the leftovers used to be. That I can watch whatever I want whenever I want, which includes movies at 2 in the morning, and I can catch up on the Ginger Lynn repeats of shows I missed 30 years ago.

    I have a friend in Jersey that has been married for over 40 years. When asked how he accomplished such a feat, he said that it was simple, they haven't talked to each other in 20 years. Having known this guy since the early '60's and know how he is, that statement is probably true.

    The best thing was being able to sleep on my back without the "Loreena Bobbitt Syndrome" fear every night, especially with wife #2. I should have gone with door #3 with that 1.

    If your find yourself thinking about a 3rd wife, go say a novena and the stations, then go find a young blonde. Works every time.

    As for Mike, this too shall pass just like the stuff they give you before a colonoscopy.
    YOU MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU KNOW.

    YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW.

    VAE VICTIS

    VENI, VEDI, I WENT AND HAD SOME SCOTCH. THEN, AND ONLY THEN, DID I VICI.

    THEN IT HIT ME THAT I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT A FEW PORT- A - POTTY'S.

    IT WAS A LONG RIDE HOME. THE WOODS WERE OUT BECAUSE THE BEARS ARE THERE.

    DOES A BEAR POOP IN THE WOODS? YOU CAN BET YOUR BIPPY ON THAT.

  24. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by rickthedrummer View Post
    Rich, I didn't know that you belonged to the multiple divorce club.

    I've spent a total of 10 years in the married column and have come to the firm conclusion that being single is the way to go. You don't have to explain why you didn't clean up after your friends were over the night before to watch a game, why there are dishes in the sink and a case of beer in the fridge where the leftovers used to be. That I can watch whatever I want whenever I want, which includes movies at 2 in the morning, and I can catch up on the Ginger Lynn repeats of shows I missed 30 years ago.

    I have a friend in Jersey that has been married for over 40 years. When asked how he accomplished such a feat, he said that it was simple, they haven't talked to each other in 20 years. Having known this guy since the early '60's and know how he is, that statement is probably true.

    The best thing was being able to sleep on my back without the "Loreena Bobbitt Syndrome" fear every night, especially with wife #2. I should have gone with door #3 with that 1.

    If your find yourself thinking about a 3rd wife, go say a novena and the stations, then go find a young blonde. Works every time.

    As for Mike, this too shall pass just like the stuff they give you before a colonoscopy.
    Well said...you're gonna put Dr. Phil out of work. I'm digging being single again for the second time. I can get GAS without the guilt lol...

  25. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by late8 View Post
    Well said...you're gonna put Dr. Phil out of work. I'm digging being single again for the second time. I can get GAS without the guilt lol...
    I collect drum stuff and junk cars, and my wife collects dogs and cats. I guess if I can have GAS, then my wife can have AAS. (Animal Aquisition Syndrome)
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

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