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Thread: You're too old to play gigs when.....

  1. #1

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    Default You're too old to play gigs when.....

    You're too old to play gigs when.....

    1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.
    2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.
    3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.
    4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub
    5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your playlist
    6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie
    7. You lost the directions to the gig
    8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings
    9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage
    10. You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
    11. The waitress is your daughter
    12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers
    13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats
    14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case
    15. You refuse to play without earplugs
    16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30
    17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig
    18. Your gig stool has a back
    19. You're related to at least one member in the band
    20. You don't let any one sit in
    21. You need a nap before the gig
    22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
    23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down
    24. You prefer a music stand with a light
    25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon
    26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever.....
    27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool factor.
    28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're younger than your daughter.
    29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location ...
    30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it
    31. You ask the girl in the front row if you could buy her a drink....she replies "sure ! I'll have a scotch and WA-WA."
    32. Your set list is danceable
    33. You think "homey" means cozy and warm
    34. You get home @ 3:00 AM, your wife is with the Cable Guy and you don't care
    35. You have to look over your glasses to see your PA connections
    36. At home you have food older than the waitresses
    37. You're playing the same venue in three months and you ask the club owner if you can leave your amp!
    38. Most of the band members are a lot younger then you
    39. Your son is sitting at the bar, waiting for the gig to end so he can take you and your stuff home, so he can finally go back out and party...
    40. Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids...
    41. You hope to get home at a decent hour, so you can check the Sonar forum before hittin' the sack..
    42. In consideration of your age, the audience requests some early Rush.
    43. On all out of town gigs you draw straws to see who the "designated driver" will be coming home.
    44. You start listing your truss as a "business expense".
    45. You forget to take your Flowmax so all sets that night are only 15 minutes long.
    46. When you get a "Cease and Desist" letter from the Spandex co.
    47. After launching into your best Impression of Peter T....wind mills people are amazed at the smoke fee coming out of your arm pits , so then you decide to step it up and do some Jimi and play some with your teeth the solos over but the teeth are still holding on to the strings.
    48. When you play 2 nights in a row, and the next day your body aches like you played in the Super Bowl!
    49. Or when you play a Wednesday night gig and call into work sick on Thursday and Friday.
    50. When halfway through a song, in a peaceful, quiet, lengthy orchestral part of the song you dose off to sleep only to be awakened right on cue as the drummer does a pounding lead-in to the next verse.
    51. When you misread the label and end up swallowing about a handful of viagra instead of aspirin during the gig and finally realize why all the old ladies are throwing underwear at ya.
    52. When the only "Stones" you care about are in your gallbladder or kidney.
    53. You have to charge extra money if there are any steps to climb, because it creates a problem for your mobility scooter!
    54. Your hearing has deteriorated so badly that you actually ask the guitar player to "turn himself up.
    55. You call out the next song only to have someone remind you played it 10 minutes earlier.
    56. After a long search you finally find the pair of Kiss boots you bought new.
    57. Your drugs are keeping you alive rather than killing you.
    58. You worry more about breaking a hip than being hip.
    59. Musicians half your age are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame or have appeared on postage stamps.
    60. The only white powder to be found amongst the band members is foot talc.
    61. You decide to put your Clapper to good use by placing it near the bass drum and hooking it up to the strobe light.
    62. After seeing some of the new airbrushed centerfolds on guitars these days you start fancying your self as some sort of rebel trailblazer for having put a sticker of Betty Boop on your guitar in the 60's.
    63. You look at the song list you provide to clients and realize the last song you entered under your "top 40" category is Disco Inferno."
    Last edited by aboveforever; 03-09-2020 at 07:04 AM.

  2. #2

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    hahahaha some of those are seriously funny lol
    14pc Yamaha Maple Custom Vintage (24pc in total) | 12pc PDP X7 | 9pc Ludwig Jr. | 9pc Pork Pie ZebraWood | 6pc Sonor |5pc PDP Concept Maple Classic | 5pc Ddrum Dominion | 5pc Orbitone |4pc Sonor Martini | 58 Snare drums and growing!

  3. #3

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    For drummers, number one has always been true.

    The standout for me was number five.............funny.
    Gretsch USA & Zildjian
    (What Else Would I Ever Need ?)


  4. #4

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    I could still play a 4 set gig with no problems. I guess it depends on how you grow old.
    YOU MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU KNOW.

    YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW.

    VAE VICTIS

    ONCE YOU HIT A CERTAIN AGE, YOU BECOME PERMANENTLY UNIMPRESSED BY A LOT OF CRAP.

    I HIT THAT AGE 20 YEARS AGO.

  5. #5

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    I can directly relate to all but a few of those, LOL.
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  6. #6

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    You’re never too old as long as someone taps their foot when you play! - Willie Wilson
    - Tom

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  7. #7

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    I'm definitely to old because i didn't even read all of that. to much man , to much.

  8. #8

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    Boys. It's "too" not "to." Drummers......
    Signature here

  9. #9

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    Quote Originally Posted by drummer View Post
    You’re never to old as long as someone taps their foot when you play! - Willie Wilson
    Yes, but Willie doesn’t have to do his own load out and setup!
    -Brian

    "Too many crappy used drum stuff to list"

    Play the SONG......not the DRUMS!!!

    "I think that feeling is a lot more important than technique. It's all very well doing a triple paradiddle - but who's going to know you've done it? If you play technically you sound like everybody else. It's being original that counts." ~ John Bonham

  10. #10

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    Quote Originally Posted by N2Bluz View Post
    Yes, but Willie doesn’t have to do his own load out and setup!
    Details...

    ROFL
    Signature here

  11. #11

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Bish View Post
    Boys. It's "too" not "to." Drummers......
    to vs too
    your vs you're
    their vs they're
    ask vs ax

    It's tough being literate having gone through the educational system in 'Murca.

  12. #12

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    to vs too
    your vs you're
    their vs they're
    ask vs ax

    It's tough being literate having gone through the educational system in 'Murca.
    I know, right?

    We do suffer.
    Signature here

  13. #13

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    Blonde v Brunette v Redhead. These were the tough decisions that we, as drummers, had to make, sometimes on a nightly basis.

    Some looked good walking towards you, some looked good walking away from you, and some looked good in profile.

    Jennifer Lawrence (Blonde) v Kate Beckinsale (Brunette) v Amy Adams (Redhead). A decision for the ages.

    I'm now going to the store to buy a cake that is too delicious, so I shall by two of them.

    It is possible that that statement was way 2 much. Something to ponder as the day goes on.
    YOU MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU KNOW.

    YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE DEVIL YOU DON'T KNOW.

    VAE VICTIS

    ONCE YOU HIT A CERTAIN AGE, YOU BECOME PERMANENTLY UNIMPRESSED BY A LOT OF CRAP.

    I HIT THAT AGE 20 YEARS AGO.

  14. #14

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    #18. My gig stool needs a change of underwear.

  15. #15

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    Quote Originally Posted by inthpktplayer View Post
    to vs too
    your vs you're
    their vs they're
    To vs too vs two
    Your vs you’re vs yore
    Their vs they’re vs there
    Throne vs thrown
    Cymbals vs symbols
    Last edited by Olimpass; 03-21-2020 at 04:13 AM.

  16. #16

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    Through;
    Threw;
    thorough
    thought
    thou
    tho

    D'z nuts.
    Signature here

  17. #17

    User Info Menu

    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    I can relate to several things on that list. I'm not spilling the beans, though. I'll just let everyone have their/there/they're own guesses!
    Quoting gonefishin: Just have some bacon with ya when you go pick her up..........youre an instant chick magnet.





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  18. #18

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    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    Damn. I can relate to far too many of those............
    The Varukers.

  19. #19
    telejojo Guest

    Default Re: You're too old to play gigs when.....

    You can't stay up much past 9 o'clock

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