The snare head on the bottom should NEVER BE HIT! It's thinner than thin... it's paper thin. It's for resonating the snare wires ONLY not playing!!!
Are all the heads factory? Most stock heads on a cheaper kit are junk thin 1 ply heads.
Sounds like you need to invest in thicker 2ply heads and get junior a smaller pair of sticks.
Get a power dot snare head or something with a center dot for heavy hitters and get an EMAD bass drum head.
For the toms I'd suggest like a 2ply Evans G2 Clear
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