I've already pissed you off so you probably won't listen to me. But here's my advice:
I've been playing for 30 years professionally and I taught for 15 of those years. Your biggest downfall is not your lack of reading skills, it is your ego. The best thing you can do for yourself is learn humility. "Countless polyrhythms" will not get you gigs. Humility will.
To answer your post more directly: It appears you have the will to soar. Congratulations on tackling some of the hardest things first (polyrhythms, odd times, etc.). That's a great accomplishment. I believe you CAN afford drumming lessons. Find a way. Make it happen. If you want it bad enough, you'll find a way to pay for it. Take an extra job, barter with one of your skills, ...whatever it takes.
You may be able to teach yourself but I think reading is one of those things that's best to learn with a qualified teacher. You're right; it is extremely important to know how to read to reach that next level. It's a very competitive industry and you can't afford to be second best.
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