Well, since you mentioend "grow with me" - I'm gonna have to go against my normal opinion and reccomend probably the Alesis or the DTXplorer. While I feel Roland make superior products, in this instance that kit is limited, and as far as I know can't be expanded. It is a good beginners kit, is space efficient and is great value for money, but if you want something that will "grow with you" this means you will want something you can expand and upgrade as your skills improve - at least that's how I take it. The Alesis DM5 Pro is probably a good bet here, I haven't had much experience with them, but I have seen some good reviews on here and around the net about them, especially with regard to value for money. The Yamaha is definately a safe bet for what your asking as well, good solid brand, well made sturdy product and the drum module has good features. Not sure about the price, but have a look at the Roland TD3 also, as if that falls within your price range, I would put that at the top of the list - again it's my opinion, but Roland are the top of the line for e-kits - maybe behind Hart Dynamics.
On that point have you had a look at their products? Chekc out these
The qulaity her eis second to none, and these, unlike the others use mesh heads for a more natural feel. I also think they may be the only ones at entry level that use velocity sensitive triggers, but don't quote me on that. The Hart kit is for thepads etc.. on their own, so you woudl need to source a drum module, however generally the Hart's are compatible with anything from ROland, Yamaha or Alesis, and you'l find on that link there an area wher ethey make reccomendations about which modules work best with the product. The other benefit for you here is that the mesh heads are WAY quieter than the rubber pads featured on the other setups you've mentioned, which will work in your favour with your wife and newborn.
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