Looking for encouragment

[The Chazbo]

The band I've been playing with for a while now has hit a very rough patch, worse than before. At a recent gig our two guitarists seemed to be competeng with each other rather than playing together, and you could see the tension between them from a mile off. The two of them also had problems trying to out do each other singing and such. But with all this going on the band has taken a nose dive and the future of it is right on the edge. This happened a week ago and I haven't touched my drums since, for some reason it's discouraged me. I was wondering if anyone knew any ways that I could get right back in there and start playing every day again...I want to, but there's just that very strange block. Any help would be very greatly appreciated here.

[LagerHead]

Sounds to me like it's time for one of two options. Either the guitarists need learn that a band is a "team" event, or you need to find a new band. Music is supposed to be enjoyable to play. When you don't enjoy playing, it shows, and other don't enjoy listening.

Sounds like you're in somewhat of a tough situation. Good luck getting it worked out.

[The Chazbo]

Me and the bassist are writing some stuff outside of the band atm, and are seriously considering leaving, then advertising in local musician classifieds and seeing where it goes from there. I just need to get back on my kit and enjoy it properly, not thinking about previous events. It's just weird how that can discourage you so much. I need something to aim for to get me back into it i think, but I'm not sure what.

I mean, it's not that I don't want to play them, it just seems weird...very difficult to explain

[Northern Redneck]

Fire one of the guitarists.

[fiacovaz]

Chazbo...Been there and done that...a lot of us have. It's a shame, too, because situations like this occur for no good reason. Whenever EGOS get in the way, nothing good will ever come of it. Today, I play with an 18 pc. Big Band and it's a pretty darn good one. We have one thing that your band doesn't...an EGO bucket. At every rehearsal and gig, we drop our EGOS into that bucket. Now, you lost your enthusiasm to play...naturally. Part of your reluctance is because you feel that your love for the music has been crapped on by the two guitarists. I mean, how good can all this be if players within the band are so insensitive to it? You're questioning this yourself and you have no answer for it. Doesn't seem like the others share your feelings. So, what are you to do? Take the week off and a few more days if you feel it necessary. Before going to work in the morning, sit behind your drums, assuming they are set up, and just play a groove of some sort. Just a few minutes then leave. After a few day of this, you will either want to play some more or you will be mad at yourself for not getting anything going. And that is what's going to to motivate you to start playing. But this time, you have to play for you. No one else. Take a good listen to what you do. It's going to make you sick because you will notice a loss in timing and coordination. You'll get it back because you take a lot of pride in what you do. The "Groove" will come back and it will be more intense than you imagine. Now, what about the band? Is it going to fold? If so, good riddance...there'll be another one and you'll have a greater stake in it because of this experience. So, the decision is yours...make it the right one.

[The Chazbo]

Thanks Frank, you've offered some really good advice and I'll try that starting tomorrow, or even later today - I have to go out so I won't have the temptation to sit behind the kit for ages. It's difficult as well with the situation with the four of us, theres a kind of divide down the middle now when we all used to be so close, but I'm not sure if the divide will ever get fixed, which is something only time can tell I suppose, but once again, thanks for the help and I'll get start on it asap and let you know how it goes

[Ethel_The_Frog]

Pity the drummer and bassist, the kids who practice all day and night, who can have mad technical ability and creativity, hold a band together and keep it grooving throughout the song, the people who feel passion for playing. Feel bad for them as some kid on an ego trip at the front of the stage forgets what he's doing, forgets he's playing music with a band and goes off thinking he's a rock star.
Bottom line is this. Ego's suck. And guitarists as well, but mainly ego's.
Man...it's not fair for you. You practice hard, you put in the effort, you haul your drums out every night, and for what? Your two guitarists to fight over rubbish insignificant dramas and try and outperform each other? Nah! You go there to play music. If they're not on board with that, then maybe they don't deserve to be in the band. It's not cool for them to discourage you to the point of not playing.

[gonefishin]

Me and the bassist are writing some stuff outside of the band atm, and are seriously considering leaving, then advertising in local musician classifieds and seeing where it goes from there. I just need to get back on my kit and enjoy it properly, not thinking about previous events. It's just weird how that can discourage you so much. I need something to aim for to get me back into it i think, but I'm not sure what.

I mean, it's not that I don't want to play them, it just seems weird...very difficult to explain

I agree with what Lager typed and maybe you need some time away from those 2 and should start fresh with the bassist . But leave on a good note you may want to play with one of those guitarists at a later date , and its always nice to stay friends and just not jam together . Good luck .

[The Chazbo]

Pity the drummer and bassist, the kids who practice all day and night, who can have mad technical ability and creativity, hold a band together and keep it grooving throughout the song, the people who feel passion for playing. Feel bad for them as some kid on an ego trip at the front of the stage forgets what he's doing, forgets he's playing music with a band and goes off thinking he's a rock star.
Bottom line is this. Ego's suck. And guitarists as well, but mainly ego's.
Man...it's not fair for you. You practice hard, you put in the effort, you haul your drums out every night, and for what? Your two guitarists to fight over rubbish insignificant dramas and try and outperform each other? Nah! You go there to play music. If they're not on board with that, then maybe they don't deserve to be in the band. It's not cool for them to discourage you to the point of not playing.

That;s exactly what a few of us have been saying. Personally I think the guitarists are in it for the lifestyle, as you said, the whole "rock star" kinda thing. But the rest of us aren't. I play because I enjoy doing something I love, and it seemed we all had a common interest so we formed the band. But it's amazing how one event shows you that people you thought you knew well turn out to be different.

I agree with what Lager typed and maybe you need some time away from those 2 and should start fresh with the bassist . But leave on a good note you may want to play with one of those guitarists at a later date , and its always nice to stay friends and just not jam together . Good luck .

I agree GF, me and the bassist have started writing something and have decided to write a good set of material on our own, then see where it all goes from there.

[livewire80]

I would rather be a drummer and bassist looking for a guitarist then a guitarist looking for a drummer and bassist (to make things even harder). It is a fact that a good drummer and bassist are the rare breed. Hope all goes well chazbo.

[The Chazbo]

Thanks LW and to everyone that has posted, it's actually made me feel a lot better about the situation and has put my optimism back in there

[bassist learning drums]

I would rather be a drummer and bassist looking for a guitarist then a guitarist looking for a drummer and bassist (to make things even harder). It is a fact that a good drummer and bassist are the rare breed. Hope all goes well chazbo.

Right on!!!


It almost sounds like the rhythm section can play in 2 bands, one with each guitarist!! Maybe it's time for a band meeting. Maybe it's time to move on.

[The Chazbo]

Definatley band meeting time. We shall see how it all pans out, then I'll let you guys know.

[drummer]

Be sure to use lots of diplomacy in the band meeting. Egos are always fragile.

[The Chazbo]

I always do. I've been told I'm aways very mature when it comes to stuff like this, I mean, obvisouly I have a lot of fun in the band, but I can be serious when I need to be.

[Guitarfool5931]

Chazbo, my band went through a small rough patch as well. Not because of ego, all of us are mostly ego-less if that's even a word, but because of scheduling and an apparent lack in interest from fellow bandmates. Our guitarist is having a kid and while I couldn't be more excited for him it saddened me that it might spell disaster for our band. Practices started getting called off, people would show up late or not at all, and the writing process definitely started taking a big hit. I even started thinking about whether or not playing drums was what I wanted to do in the first place.

After a few months of this I decided to join another band. Eventually it didn't work out with them and I went back to my old band but doing this allowed me to realize how much I do enjoy playing drums and how much fun it could be when you're all on the same page and not bringing life's stress into the room with you. I'm VERY happy to say that things are going much better with the band and we're even playing a show this Friday.

Don't let other people's attitude problems or egos turn you off of what you love doing. It's good to take a break every now and then but you have to remember why it was you started doing what you do in the first place.

I hope things work out better with your band and even though you might have to let one of them go, if not both, it might eventually lead to better opportunities and a better environment for yourself and your bandmate. Good luck!

[ratmycue]

You need a band meeting and you need to tell it as it is.

[Ethel_The_Frog]

It's a privilege to be in a band together. If you want to keep those rights, you've got to band together, find out what you're playing for and never look back. This'll strengthen you beyond belief.

[rmandelbaum]

I have been playing in bands for over 30 years. One thing I have learns is they will come and go. But your drums will always be there. Just roll with it and don't let it get to you. Find someone else and keep going.

[parttimedrummer]

I agree with rmandelbaum about bands come and go. When i lived at home in Wisconsin i had a band i was in, played guitar. A bud from work was the drummer, and got me to come jam with them one day, and i became 2nd guitarist in the band. I was in the band for about 3 years, my bud left for financial and personal reasons (nothing to do with the band itself) and the bass player also could play drums, so he took over that, and i picked up the bass until i ran into financial problems than i had to leave as well.

Well, as fate would have it, my bud happens to live an hour away from me now here in Iowa. We had started working on forming another band, but with my work schedule, that kind of put that on the back burner for now. I still play for me though, and am working on my own material as well.

[Drumaddict]

maybe you should sit down with your group and talk about it and as you for the you need respect and they should listen so try that or just fire one of the guitarists

[Anda One, Anda Two]

I always do. I've been told I'm aways very mature when it comes to stuff like this, I mean, obvisouly I have a lot of fun in the band, but I can be serious when I need to be.

Just state the facts, I'm sure the bass player will back you up, but not to the point that it looks like you're ganging up on the
2 guitarists.
Ask for the guitar players input as well, I had a similar situation, and the guitarist decided it best to leave, but that was his decision.
Good luck.

[Redeye]

Sadly, I have always told my friends that being in a band was split 25% equally among being a musician, referee, babysitter, and mediator.

[MortalDrumbat]

sounds like somebody needs a timeout